Whatever Happened to the Dark Ace?
by Tainted Ink And Paper
Summary: AxP. Finn is bored and he wants black mail material… so he asks an interesting question: why hasn’t the Dark Ace-one of their most persistent enemies-popped up in Atmos lately?
1. Chapter 1

**Summary: **Takes place in the 2nd season so far. Finn is bored and he wants black mail material… so he asks an interesting question: why hasn't the Dark Ace-one of their most persistent enemies-popped up in Atmos lately? In an instant, the stormhawks come up with some bizarre theories…

**Rating: **T for mild swearing and suggestive themes

**Pairings: **Implied pairings

**Whatever Happened to the Dark Ace?**

It was a bright sunny day in Atmos as the grey and blue Condor soared through the blue hued clouds of the skies. Occasionally birds flew past and perhaps the odd sky fish, but other than that, it was a pretty ordinary sight. Nothing unusual was happening. The weather was-of course-picture perfect, the message crystals were free of emergency transmissions while everything was neat and tidy on the ship. All was well.

Well, not quite.

As a young rambunctious teenager, and also an esteemed and heroic (accoring to himself) stormhawk, Finn easily got distracted. To but it bluntly, he was a walking annoyance on the ship with nothing to interest him – not that he would do work or any sort in any case. It was just… so… damn… dull. That was not normal for a regular day on the Condor! They should've been kicking Talon butt or doing some rescue mission, not… drifting off pointlessly!

When Finn was bored, he started to think. And when Finn started to put his brain to work, it was not good. Any thing that came out of Finn's mind was an elaborate plot to annoy everyone else around him. Hey, if he was miserable, everyone else should be miserable at his expense. Right? Right. Because the Finnster was like that. Duh.

With a yawn, Finn laid back against his bed. Again, he just had to repeat himself: it was boring. Maybe he could jam on his guitar… but then Stork would trash it _again _and Finn would spend fruitless hours trying to gain justice for his precious baby. Nope, that was not going to happen now. Finn was just too lazy to start any fights. This meant that disrupting Piper's experiments was out of the question – again, too much work. This also meant that he had no strength to go air surfing with the guys. It was a lot of work to go air surfing and look cool for the ladies at the same time. Nah… it was a slacker day…

Slacker days meant annoying the _whole _team with only one brilliant move. Now… what to do? Blinking, Finn rubbed his chin. Surely it didn't have to be some sinister prank… he could just get the whole team to spend time together a different way. His mind started to wander again.

This was going no where. Finn lay back down again to close his eyelids. The gentle ticking of the clock beside his bed timed the rhythm of his heartbeat as he started to daydream, losing momentum to stir up his teams' spirits.

Man this year had been weird. Who knew why Cyclonis would host a wrestling competition at her own terra? She didn't seem like the type to get out and have fun. Finn snorted at the mental image of Cyclonis in a sparkly outfit at Terra Nero to get drunk. It was too funny. And who knew that Aerrow would be the first to reach the Exosphere? Now that was pretty cool… and Finn could've sworn Piper and Aerrow stole a moment or two in the moonlight as well… They'd met a lot of old enemies over the past few weeks… Murk Raiders, Raptors, the warden, Cyclonis, Ravess….

Come to think of it… whatever happened to the Dark Ace?

Instantly Finn's whole body shot up, "HOLY SHIT!"

That's right! Aerrow's arch nemesis the Dark Ace! How long had it been since they'd faced him? Finn struggled to remember…

Oh who gave a damn?! This was important! Eyes sparkling with excitement Finn rushed to the hangar… boy was he in for some fun!

Maybe... maybe he could get help too...

This was going to be a GREAT scheme!

* * *

"Hey guys! Hey guys! Guess what?" Finn cheered with that great big grin on his face.

Junko watched with interest as Finn zoomed right past him to Aerrow and Piper who were discussing maps. Stork merely gave an eye roll, "There goes the walking disaster again… make sure you don't attract any more flesh eating disease Finn…" he gave a twitch, "it's contagious…"

The hangar was filled with that familiar awkward tension that always accompanied one of many of Stork's lovely comments.

"Uh… yeah…" Finn shook his head and then exclaimed, "Guess what guys?"

Glancing up from her charts Piper shook her head. Her mouth was in a thin scowl as she addressed him with impatience, "Is this important Finn? I've got important work to do, in case you haven't realized it for the umpteenth time today."

Smugly, Finn crossed his arms, "Hear, hear, your sarcasm amuses me, dear Piper, but I've actually got something really really important to say right now. I think you'll want to hear it."

Piper groaned in annoyance, "Whatever Finn…"

Smiling at the regular banter that occurred between the two, Aerrow resumed his role as unofficial peacekeeper. He still couldn't help the tips of his lips that stretched into a smile at seeing Piper so angry at Finn.

"Alright then, what is it Finn?"

"You guys are going to think that I'm soooo smart!" Finn said gleefully.

"Uh huh…?"

"Alrighty, to the point... have you guys noticed that we haven't seen the Dark Ace lately?" Finn waggled his eyebrows, while elbowing an irritated Piper in the stomach.

"FINN! STOP DOING THAT!"

Aerrow, speaking over them, gave his two cents, "No… I actually didn't notice till now. Isn't that a good thing?"

Junko nodded in agreement, "Yeah, doesn't it mean we have fewer enemies to worry about?"

Finn was disappointed. Where were their imaginations? It was up to him to stir up some of the magic then…

"You don't mean that do you Junko?! I'll bet Stork would agree with me if I said its best to watch out for your enemies… you should keep them closer than your friends…" Finn said in a very bad impression of an ominous voice.

Stork shook his head in embarrassment, "Oh… that'll definitely scare us Finn… oh yeah…"

The marksmen of the team glared at the green pilot.

"Actually…"

The stormhawks stopped their playful teasing of each other to pay attention to their navigator, who was actually _listening _to what Finn was saying.

"Finn's got a point," Piper agreed reluctantly.

Punching a fist in the air, Finn whooped, "SEE?! I told ya! You tell them, sister!"

With a disapproving look, Piper pushed him away, "Yeah, don't call me that…" she went back to business, "It's important we know what's going on with our enemies. Anything they do could affect us. Now, the Dark Ace's absence may be a good thing for the time being… but we have to keep a look out for the potential threats he might be planning in this period of leisure. The Dark Ace could be trying to lure us into a trap by putting us into a mood of ignorance and bliss. We have to be on guard."

A fleeting look of approval passed over Aerrow's face. He always knew he could count on Piper to be the cool and logical anchor for the squadron. Immediately Aerrow composed himself into a more professional fashion, erasing the pleased emotions from his expression.

"Piper's right. We have to think about the future. The Dark Ace cannot be underestimated…" Aerrow couldn't hold back a boyish grin, "Even if we always kick his butt in every battle."

"Too true!" Junko praised, as he exchanged high fives with Finn.

Their paranoid pilot also nodded in agreement, "The Dark Ace probably got Cyclonis angry when we defeated him the day we had to baby-sit that little tyke Tinky." He looked back and forth and then scooted closer to whisper harshly at them, "I heard she keeps her prisoners trapped in the wastelands surrounded by fire scorpions… never to be found again…"

Extremely creeped out, everyone gulped.

"Oh yeah..." Stork continued, as he stringed his audience along, "she also has their toes chopped up with butcher knives and filled up with jaded spider poisen so that she can eat them for breakfast in her stew. It makes her even more dangerous and able to use her evil powers to plot to take control of the Atmos."

This time, no one bought what Stork was selling.

"Uh… are you sure about that Stork?" Aerrow hesitantly asked.

"Have I ever been wrong about anything?" Stork gave him a dead look.

Junko laughed it off, "Oh come on guys! I bet it isn't such a big deal. Maybe the Dark Ace decided not to be bad and evil again, so, he walked right about of Cyclonia and decided to be banjo player!"

"…"

"A banjo player in overalls and a necklace of flowers!"

"...er..."

"What? The Dark Ace would look very good in overalls and a banjo."

"…"

"Don't you guys like country music?"

"Dude, the Dark Ace… playing the _banjo_?! Sometimes I wonder about you, man!" Finn shivered, "You put a really nasty image in my head!"

"I'm not queer or anything Finn, I'm just a real softie!" Junko embraced his best friend with affection.

Finn went blue from lack of air, "Can't... breathe…"

"Oh… sorry!" Junko said innocently before dropping Finn to the ground.

"You know what…?" Finn said, as soon as he regained his composure, "I bet the Dark Ace is in love with Master Cyclonis!"

"EH?!"

"Yeah! The Dark Ace was having lusty thoughts for his commanding officer that he confessed his true feelings! But, when Cyclonis found out, she told him to get the hell out and that Talons had no room for love and all that, and since then the Dark Ace has been living out on the streets as a mourning hobo!"

THUMP!

"ACK! YOU KILLED STORK!" Piper ran over to help the unconscious merb.

Aerrow, being attentive, saw the cloth Finn had carelessly (was it careless?) threw on the floor.

"Piper! Careful there's-"

WHACK!

"PIPER!" Aerrow ran over to try and catch the crystal specialist, only to have her fall on top of him in her clumsy trip and knock over the table which tumbled over to Junko who stopped it with his bulky legs.

"STORK! BUDDY YOU OK?!" Junko started to shake the merb who was now hallucinating.

"I see the mind worms coming to get me… Mommy…" drawled Stork with dizzy eyes.

Junko blinked, "No, no, no, I'm not a mind worm Stork, I'm not a- AHHHHH!"

Stork proceeded to go on a berserk rampage by punching Junko's eyes out. Considering Junko's strength and Stork's lean figure, Stork packed an extremely strong punch.

Meanwhile, Aerrow couldn't even feel his fingers as Piper was sprawled on him, out cold, "Well… this is…" he blushed.

In all this insanity there was just a faint sniggering in the background. Radarr, the furry little animal who could always be inconspicuous when needed, was filming every little bit on camera.

Aerrow went pale, "Uh… guys?"

No one paid attention as Stork tried to kill Junko, Piper was in la-la land and not moving from on top of Aerrow's chest and Finn was _still _recapping some steamy supposed love affair between Master Cyclonis and Dark Ace. Did Finn read porn or something? That guy was getting awfully suggestive in his narration… not that anyone but Aerrow-who was pinned to the ground, not that he was complaining-was listening.

"Dark Ace will probably peek into Cyclonis' room just so he can catch a glimpse of her-"

"Finn…" Aerrow growled, temper rising.

Aerrow was so prude.

Finn was starting to make kissy faces towards the camera in his story telling of how Cyclonis and Dark Ace seduced and slept with each other. Aerrow was getting even pinker, trying not to think about the girl on top of him as he tried to get up.

"… and then Dark Ace slowly slides the master's shirt down and he whispers in her ear, 'you know you want me…' and then she moans and says…"

"FINN WILL YOU SHUT UP AND HELP ME UP?!" Aerrow snapped loudly, not wanting to hear more about his enemies' love lives (whether they were real or not).

Radarr was _still _being a pest and filming them all, while trimming his tail. Traitor…

"Oh… well I dunno man, you look pretty much at home in Piper's arms to me," Finn said flirtatiously.

"Ack! WHAT?! NO! I'M NOT!"

"You're blushing…" sang Finn.

"YOU-"

Finn laughed, "You know you wanna touch her…" he sniggered, "Wait till I tell Piper that her _favorite _sky knight is a closet pervert…"

"Finn," Aerrow's eyes went dark, "I will kill you. No, actually, I will throw you into the wastelands into lava lake, and then I will pull you out and rip your body to shreds, feed your chopped parts to the sky sharks, burn your corpse and then bring you back to life and kill you _if you ever mention this incident to Piper when she wakes up again!_" Aerrow hissed.

The idiot was too busy chocking on laughter, "Aw man this is gold… are you getting this Radarr?"

The furry creature gave him a chirp and a thumps up as a 'yes'. Some loyal sidekick he was…

Then it clicked. Finally.

"Wait… YOU WERE PLANNING THIS THE WHOLE TIME WEREN'T YOU?!"

Finn was going to die. But the black mail… it was sooo worth it.

-

-

-

-

I dunno, I love everyone in the Stormhawks… I might add some more chapters to put in Aerrow and Piper's theories as well as other characters. Finn will definitely come up with more scenarios… If you have any ideas you wish to contribute, just PM me.

Lame comedy, I know… but I was really bored and curious to know WHERE IS DARK ACE?! I miss my favorite villain. Although I really like those nightcrawlers and Craver too… and Cyclonis rocks!

Thanks for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: **(I forgot it last week) I don't own Stormhawks… if I did, then all those really good plot bunnies in each episode would be extended for 5 or 6 more episodes… like episode 34!

**Recap: **After asking about the Dark Ace, Finn and Radarr managed to record blackmail against their fellow stormhawks for future pestering and manipulation…

**Whatever Happened to the Dark Ace?**

The fires of Cyclonia flared up like geysers in the wastelands below the terrain. Glowing brightly and contrasting with the dark and dull rock, the lava flickered in and out of the cracks making spews and various bubbling sounds. Creatures such as fire scorpions and lava eels fluttered around the crusty surface of the forgotten terrain beneath all the terras of the Atmos. From the ground large jagged and molten mountains were spread all over the environment to add a gloomy effect, surrounded by thundering storm clouds. In the center of Cyclonia was Master Cyclonis' castle, just as tall and protruding as the rest of the mountains surrounding her terra.

It was a wonder that Master Cyclonis received _any_ visitors around here. With the exception of Stork, who thought the area was homey when he had first seen it, this place screamed 'get out of here or else!' It was a kick-butt piece of property to live in.

Deep in the castle the master had a great and extensive crystal lab. It rivaled Piper's laboratory, especially since Cyclonis had seen it for herself as Lark. Within the lab it was said that there were large variations of the rarest crystals on the Atmos and the most lethal. There were productions of failed experimentations for weapons and successful trials of poisons that had no antidote yet. The shelves were stacked with charts, maps and faded books which spoke of untold secrets from previous masters. This was the place where Master Cyclonis liked to lurk. Obviously it didn't have a touch of decoration. The atmosphere of the room merely intensified in the master's presence. Her mere existence made the room a very scary place to be in.

At the moment, Master Cyclonis had been working on her regenerating crystal. After all, she didn't want that damned Piper of the Stormhawks to beat her in this race. Cyclonis would be the first to make this crystal. There was no way she'd be able to take it if Piper's words had been correct – if Piper really _could _be more prepared to make a crystal than even Cyclonis herself.

However, even evil masterminds plotting to take over the world got bored… and it just so happened that Cyclonis was not in the mood to be tinkering in her lab with no one to talk too.

It was that 'time' of the month again. Everyone in Cyclonia feared the master whenever it happened… In fact, it was a written law in the hearts and minds of every Talon to _stay as far away from Cyclonis as possible _during this time of the month. It wasn't pretty if you were the poor smutch who came across the master. It wasn't pretty at all.

One of the random Talons was arguing in front of the gate with the others, trying to figure out who should dare to disturb the master in her intense studies first. They were scared out of their wits.

"You go, man! You've got the most authority after Ravess!" said one twitchy guy, shaking at his knees.

The Talon shook his head furiously, "Are you crazy?! Besides, I've only got this authority until Ravess chucks me out into the wasteland like she did with the other twenty guys who screwed up before I will! That perfectionist is WAY better to deal with than… than… _her_!" he gulped, "_Especially _during this time of the month!"

"Oh come on!"

"Dude, I value my life, YOU do it!"

"No I'm young; it's the old who go first!"

"Don't make me-"

"OH MOVE OVER, YOU INGRATES!" hissed the magenta-haired perfectionist who had just waltzed in upon their arguments.

Ravess had no time for excuses or these pathetic whelps who dared to call themselves elite Cyclonians. Today she was feeling extremely furious and intended to discuss the matter with Master Cyclonis. Oh, and Ravess did not give a damn if it was 'that time of the month' again, it didn't matter. Perfectionists needed things to go their way – they liked control. Well, Ravess could've been the only perfectionist who acted as so.

The Cyclonian general shoved the two guards to the side, walking gracefully to the large black doors to Cyclonis' study quarters. Two swift and strong knocks followed and Ravess waited for Cyclonis to answer (yell back).

No one answered. Raising an eyebrow Ravess felt an unsettling feeling in her stomach… perhaps it would be best to turn back while she had a chance. The female warrior frowned.

No. She was a Cyclonian… an elite warrior, a perfectionist. She needed to carry this out for her own sake – Cyclonis could rot. With force, Ravess pushed the door open to peer into the dark room resembling the entrance to a mad scientists' lab. Keeping an alert eye on her surroundings, which were very obscure, Ravess strolled in and kept mind of Cyclonis' temper…

"Master Cyclonis?" Ravess addressed her leader smoothly and curtly.

She waited for an answer impatiently. Where was the master?

Frowning even more so that her magenta lipstick slightly smudged against her face, Ravess breathed out in building temper. This was an urgent matter. It had to be attended too. Just because it was the master's time of the month didn't mean that Ravess could be treated like some kind of-

Eyes flashed in the dark with a cool loathing that only Cyclonis could accomplish. Suddenly, Ravess regretted coming into the study at all… even if it was for her own sake. Cyclonis was not easy to deal with once she was angered. There was no room for mercy… and mistake could send you down the ranks… or cast into the wastelands.

In a low voice, Master Cyclonis spoke back, "What… are… you… doing here…? Ravess…?"

Intimidated immediately, Ravess feared for her life. She started to stutter in a more quiet tone, "M-Master Cyclonis! I… I was just leaving r-right away…!"

A low growl proceeded Ravess' rushed excuses. This was not good.

The ruler of Cyclonia rose up slowly and if looks could kill, Ravess would've burned to a crisp on the spot.

"Alright Ravess," Cyclonis looked at her drying nails as she addressed her subordinate, "WHY ARE YOU INTERUPTING MY MANICURE SESSION?!"

The master held up her hand in the dim light to show Ravess the glittering nails of pink, red and yellow.

As Stork would say, 'We're doomed'. And Ravess felt as if she has suddenly been sentenced to live out in the wasteland for the rest of her life.

There was only one thing to do: grovel.

"Um… Master I-"

Too late. Cyclonis snapped.

"DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT TAKES FOR ME TO GET IN THE MOOD? IT TAKES A LOT OF WORK TO MAKE THIS CASTLE REALLY EERIE, _RAVESS_! And look, MY NAILS JUST GOT RUINED WHEN YOU INTERUPTED ME! THEY WERE THE PERFECT SHADE!" Cyclonis ranted as Ravess imagined flames coming from Cyclonis' hair, "WHAT DO YOU WANT?!"

"W-well… I was uh…"

Growling Cyclonis yelled – patience extremely thin, "HURRY UP, DAMN IT! My nails _need_ to be painted!"

"I- I was… was wondering why the Dark Ace got that mission with my brother Snipe and not me?! Why do they get to go to Terra Fuji and not me?! I can do just as well in a mission as _they_ can!" Ravess began to become more confident in her complaints with every word, "Just because I did less than perfect against Aerrow and the Stormhawks in the stratosphere and-"

"Stop talking." Cyclonis ordered in a peeved voice, strutting over to Ravess to look her in the eye, "That's it?"

It just occurred to Ravess in her anger (finally) that this probably wasn't the best of ideas she had ever come up with. Her intuition screamed for her to shut up and run.

On pins and needles, Ravess nodded swiftly, tensing as Cyclonis took another step forward.

"You… interrupted… my _manicure _for _sibling rivalry?!_" Cyclonis hissed at her.

"Uh… yes?" came the squeaky reply.

Cyclonis glowered, her temperament resembling the force of a thousand storms, "Ravess?"

Sometime told Ravess that all future promotions and missions would be hereby withdrawn because of her simple mistake. That sucked.

"Y-yes Master Cyclonis?"

With a sickeningly sweet smile, Cyclonis told her, "_You're_ going to be _my_ personal slave for the next few days … and what_ I_ want… is what_ I_ get." Cyclonis closed her eyes and threw a maid costume at Ravess, which had been hanging on the wall for no real reason except to punish other Cyclonians, "Now… do my nails, or… perish by the hand of a destruction crystal."

Scurrying to work, Ravess grabbed the maid costume and the tub of nail polish. This was why no one dared to disturb Cyclonis during her time of the month.

Because when Cyclonis gets in touch with her feminine side, _everyone_ in Cyclonia must suffer.

* * *

"FINN!" Aerrow bucked up, also making sure not to hurt Piper. He lifted her up by wrapping his arms around her waist and pulled her up with him. The stormhawk was too absorbed in his plans to kill and mutilate Finn to feel embarrassed or even blush in Piper's touch. This meant war.

"Uh oh…" Finn could sense the danger right away.

The marksman started to back away very slowly, hands up cautiously in a pointless soothing effect against the bloodthirsty Aerrow.

"Now, now, Aerrow… don't you wanna cuddle with Piper some more? I'm sure she wouldn't mind… and I'd get a lot more footage for home movie night… and blackmail… but uh, come on man, we're friends aren't we…?" Finn's eyes darted back and forth for a way to escape.

Drawing closer to his prey, the deadly look glued on Aerrow's face merely grew darker. Oh, was Aerrow going to enjoy this moment of revenge… now if only his conscience would let him pull out his daggers as well. Oh well, no loss. Aerrow could just strangle Finn with his bare hands… and then threaten to revoke all dinner privileges from Radarr later.

Gently, Aerrow placed Piper on the table sprawled with charts. Then he looked over at Finn, a sinister smirk to rival the Dark Aces' on his face and pounced, "I AM SO GOING TO KILL YOU!"

"EIAAAAAAA!" Finn screamed like a 4 year old girl and ran for his life.

Grabbing the broom which landed in Aerrow's path as he landed against the wall, the Stormhawk chucked it at Finn with extreme accuracy. The broom hit Finn on the head and knocked him against the floor – disorientated and dizzy. Aerrow took this chance to leap over and put his eager hands around Finn's neck to shake him back and forth when Finn snapped out of his daze just in time. The marksmen picked up the fallen broom and whacked it against Aerrow as a baseball bat.

Flying across the room, Aerrow landed against the berserk Stork who was still trying to get Junko – the proclaimed 'mind worm'. Just as Aerrow knocked Stork over, the merb freaked out and pulled out a can of pepper spray to attack all those who were near.

"TAKE THIS MIND WORMS, STORK IS ALWAYS PREPARED TO TAKE YOU BEASTS ON!" Stork screeched as the pepper spray hit Aerrow and Junko in a great swerve.

Junko cried out in pain, "MY EYES!"

The wallop ended up punching open the Condor's wall, and his fist became stuck inside it.

With a whimper, Junko cried out, "Help! My knucklebusters… and ME are stuck to the Condor!"

Meanwhile, Aerrow hissed upon the contact with the pepper spray, losing his balance.

Falling over a bucket and landing against the Condor's steering wheel with a bang, Aerrow moved the steering wheel in his fall causing the whole Condor to steep to the right. Everyone and everything in the hangar and in the ship, slipped over to the walls, crashing into all the clutter of the ship. Then, as Aerrow, slipped to the ground, the steering wheel readjusted parallel to the Atmos, and all fell back down again with a deafening crash.

"… huff…huff…" Aerrow placed a fist above him on the railing for support, "Finn, don't make me get out Stork's rotten cabbage at you!"

"Actually I'd-"

"YOU COME BACK FOR MORE?! I'LL GIVE YOU MORE!" Stork cried out in his blinded rampage and tackled Aerrow who yelped and ran out of the way.

".. watch out for Stork…" Finn finished, wincing as Stork landed some really good punches at Aerrow in his rampant fury.

Radarr squawked with mirth to give Finn a conspiring wink.

Finn nodded in smug agreement to give Radarr his signature saying, "Chicka-cha, Radarr… we make a good team… who knows what else we can do together?"

Both of them started to rub their palms together in synchronized evil chuckles.

In vain, Junko was trying to pull out his fist. Grunting, Junko looked over at his free left arm and then with a determined breath, gave the wall a sound smack of a blow. Cracking through the wall once more, Junko opened his eyes throw the dust to realize that now both his fists were stuck in the Condor wall. This didn't make Junko too pleased.

Straightening his body up, Junko lifted up his right knee and then pried the entire wall of the Condor off – along with his fists.

"Uh oh…" Junko's euphoria of getting freed wore off when he saw what had been done.

This was clearly not going to be fixed in a few easy tune-ups – not when the entire wall in the length off the hangar had fallen off.

Snapping out of his rampage by the noise of his precious Condor, Stork froze in terror. His eyes focused on the bare naked walls of the Condor, making the helmsmen give out a wail of a banshee.

"MY SHIP! LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO MY SHIP!" Stork dashed over to what was left of the Condor wall-a lot of bare plumbing and lighting-to hug and caress it, "Oh my baby… did the big bad wallop give you a boo boo? Hm…? Yes… yes… tell Papa Stork all about it, Condor baby..."

Aerrow twitched, watching this happen. Stork and the Condor were really tight…

"Yes..?" Stork leaned in closer to the ship, as if it were taking back, "… oh you say? THAT'S WHAT HE DID?!" Stork turned to Junko, thoroughly peeved off, "JUNKO YOU HURT MY BABY!"

Cringing from Stork's wrath, Junko pleaded, "I DIDN'T MEAN TOO!"

He tried to put up his hands, but that was a hard feat to accomplish as his fists were still technically stuck to the Condor wall… which was ripped away from the Condor… which wasn't making Stork a happy man. Aerrow was getting a headache just thinking about it.

"Wait, wait," Junko tried to fix things in order to cheer his friend up, but putting the wall back with this fists.

As Junko moved though, the whole wall, which was stuck to his hands, moved as well and hit the unconscious Piper.

Alarmed and suddenly on his feet, Aerrow moved forward, "PIPER!"

She was thrown over on the floor, landing in a bucket full of water where she spluttered and would've choked, were it not for Aerrow's quick thinking. Dashing over in a hurry, Aerrow lifted Piper up by the waist and pressed his hands against her stomach to push the water out of her lungs. Gasping, Piper spluttered out all the bucket water – which tasted like mop.

Hoarsely, Piper leaned over at the table, unable to speak with the water dripping all over her. Slightly wet, Aerrow released her and quickly asked, "Are you ok?!"

Piper was just about to answer when Finn suddenly started to laugh. Her eyes narrowed at him in a burning vengeance, "Finn… is he… responsible-"

"Yes," Aerrow deadpanned.

Quick as a panther, Piper picked up a handful of sharp pencils and compasses and threw them all at Finn in expertise. Yelping, Finn tried to dodge them all too late before he was pinned to the Condor wall by pencils and compasses.

With satisfaction, Piper looked at the squabbling Stork and Junko only to sigh under stresses, "What the heck is going on here?! We're never going to get any work done…"

"Uh… do you need a towel?" Aerrow nervously asked her, the bloodlust for Finn wearing off.

Giving her leader a blank look, Piper shook her head, "I'll live." She glared at Radarr, "What are you doing?!"

As she shivered, Aerrow doubted her statement. Was it a crime to want to help out? Aerrow wondered why Piper refused his help sometimes. Was it a girl thing?

"But I think-"

"Aerrow, its _fine_." Piper stressed for him,

"Oooo lover's spat! Koochi koochi kooo…." Finn laughed his head off, still pinned awkwardly to the wall.

"This is Mrs. Fist, Finn. Mrs. Fist is very eager to have a date with your lips if you _don't shut up_. Alright then?" Piper seethed.

"Hm… but what if I want a date with Mrs. Fist, Piper daaaaaahling?" Finn wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

SMASH!

"OW!"

"YES! FINALLY! HE FEELS PAIN!"

"Aerrow why did-"

The alarms in the Condor started to ring out in emergency.

"… you punch Finn out?" Piper finished.

Looking around, Aerrow dashed to the steering wheel, "UH… no time to explain! We've got a mission!"

"_AERROW_!"

After all, Piper had really wanted to punch Finn too.

* * *

Dread piled up in Aerrow's chest as he took a big gulp. The message from the distressed Terra Saharr was clear… the Dark Ace had been sighted there with Snipe and Ravess. It seemed as though the three were planning some sort of hunting spree… though why on earth the Talons wanted to do that, Aerrow had no idea.

"Looks like Finn was right… and so were you Piper. Guys, the Dark Ace is back. We're going after him and his lackeys to stop Cyclonis' plans, whatever they may be!"

The battered Finn nodded on the ground, after Junko and Stork had had their way with him of course. He put up a weary thumbs-up, "Only after you confess your love to Pip-"

"UH… did you mean _Pipes_?!" Aerrow intervened, blushing madly as he scooted to cover Finn's mouth with his hand, "Oh yeah… I just love indoor plumbing… it's a… a… a new hobby of mine!"

Piper nodded slowly, "Are you-"

"OK TO THE MISSION GUYS!"

"Aerrow wait what's this about 'indoor plumbing'?!"

"UH… don't you LOVE the sound of a flushing toilet?!" Aerrow stammered quickly, then shook his head once he realized he was rambling, "JUST GET TO YOUR SKIMMERS!"

Finn gave a devious grin to the stealthy co-pilot Radarr who had a pocket mini camera in his trousers, "Keep filming Radarr! We're going to make this an epic film… heh, heh, heh…"

-

-

-

-

Less comedic I know… I lose my touch quite easily. Anyways, this story will be 5 – 6 chapters long. Next chapter: What is the Dark Ace doing on Terra Saharr still? What is he planning? And why does Cyclonis want a puppy?  
Be warned… nothing is as it seems in this preview ;) Oh and if there are any grammical errors, please point them out for me, thanks!

Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Stormhawks… if I did then there'd be so many more implied moments of romance.

**Recap: **Aerrow briefs his squadron on their next mission: arrive at Terra Saharr to stop the Dark Ace and Snipe in whatever plans they have next! Ravess becomes Cyclonis' chore girl…

**Whatever Happened to the Dark Ace?**

"No. I don't like it," Cyclonis drawled, clearly bored as she leaned on the elegant couch in her room. She was tired, bored and pissed. This was not a good combination, particularly when it was that time of the month.

Nervously, her talons moved the painting to another wall of the room, hoping to please their master. Again, Cyclonis waved them off. That view wouldn't do either. Cyclonis wanted this particular poster to be in a place where she would really notice it every time she came into her bedroom. Let's just say that this poster was special.

In the corner, by her master's side, Ravess sighed impatiently. This was taking too long. Why did Ravess have to indulge in Cyclonis' girly tendencies _every_ month? It was a punishment worse then death! Cyclonis had made Ravess apply mascara on her face, paint her nails, apply her blush and sort out her 'other' wardrobe, which was pink and _not_ black. Then Cyclonis had made Ravess take disgusting quizzes in fashion magazines to see if she was hip or not. Ravess had even had to do Cyclonis' hair.

Normally Ravess would've shoved these insane requests back at anyone else who dared to impose them. But this was Master Cyclonis. She was an exception. What Master Cyclonis had ordered, had to be obeyed. Her orders had to be done to perfection… which also prevented Ravess from shaving Cyclonis' hair off in spite.

Now Cyclonis was busy looking at her poster of some new boy band in Atmos. Ravess curled her lip in disgust. Cyclonis had already considered capturing said boy band and threatening to keep them for all eternity to sing for her alone. Not only was that a low blow for abuse of power… but it severely creeped Ravess out.

God help Ravess.

"You know what?" Cyclonis casually said, observing the poster fondly, "Ravess, I want a puppy."

"…"

Had the master said… what Ravess thought she'd said…?

"Go get me a puppy," Cyclonis barked at the talons who were just about to hang up her boy band poster, "Make sure… it's a nice _bloodthirsty_ offspring… oh and Ravess?"

"Er… yes Master Cyclonis?" Ravess gulped nervously.

"Set up a battalion to take over Terra Neon… I want to go on some amusement park rides."

Coming from Cyclonis' creepy and monotonous voice… this was very bad news.

* * *

"Alright guys!" Aerrow began his routine pep talk as they all flew in their skimmers, "This is it! We're going to go down there and investigate! Don't worry about any Cyclonians because if we see them, we'll kick their butts Stormhawk style!"

"Yeah!" Junko agreed, punching his knuckle busters together to emphasize his excitement.

Whizzing past Aerrow on his skimmer, Finn hollered, "don't forget to leave the two lovebirds behind! Good luck Aerrow!"

Aerrow went ripe red like a tomato and cursed at his teammate, "FINN I'M SO GOING TO KICK YOUR BUTT!"

Right away, Aerrow flew after Finn on his skimmer at high speed. Poor Radarr hung on to dear life in his co-pilot seat as his eccentric partner zoomed after his annoying comrade. Although Piper was severely creeped out by her leader's sudden outbursts, she continued with her orders. It was Aerrow after all… she could trust him not to do too much damage, couldn't she?

Flying just behind them, Junko called after them, "Slow down you two! We don't want any more crash landings on our tabs!"

"Don't worry!" Finn shouted from a fair distance ahead, "I'm the _master of the skies_!"

Soon Finn was indulging himself in a number of loop-de-loops and daring turns. Radarr was beginning to feel a little ill as Aerrow chased after Finn on his own sky ride…

Junko and Piper exchanged a knowing glance. They both shrugged, and then mimicked Aerrow and Finn to catch up. Behind them, the condor rumbled peacefully, trailing its home team to the Terra below.

Terra Saharr… Junko could vaguely remember their last adventure on that Terra. They had been competing in a race, once again caught up in one of Finn's antics of trading parts. Finn always had a tendency to drag the Stormhawks down with him when it came to his games. Why were the Stormhawks always getting caught in one of Finn's eccentrics? Junko grinned.

It was going to be interesting to see the desert Terra once more, as well as the Third Degree Burners. Maybe Burner and Blister would force Finn to pay his debt to them once more. It would be amusing to watch…

As Junko contemplated happily on the journey ahead, Piper had been keeping a careful watch on the clouds. Something was off. Sure, her team was being wacky as usual… but… this situation didn't feel right. It didn't _feel _like a Cyclonian operation… This felt different….

Something glinted to the east. Something was heading for them. Piper's eyes widened, "JUNKO LOOK OUT!"

Snapping out of his thoughts, Junko lurched his sky ride upward, "Huh?"

There! Some kind of blast had narrowly missed him. It was an attack of some kind!

Instantly, Piper pulled out her staff, "That was a Talon Energy Blast! We need to catch up to Aerrow and Finn _now_!"

"I got your back, Piper!" Junko nodded the affirmative.

They raced through the clouds on their rides. The blasts were suddenly becoming more frequent. With all the blue and white in the sky, Piper suddenly lost track of what she was seeing. Where were these attacks coming from? Were they being surrounded? Was this an ambush?

It was probably the Dark Ace and his Talons…

Immediately, Piper saw something move behind her. She jumped up from her heliscooter, staff at hand, prepared to do sky fu on her next victim.

Junko punched the guy out before Piper could land an offensive. Her eyes flashed up above. An aerial attack was being launched upon them: more energy blasts. Both Junko and Piper split up, trying to out maneuver the enemy.

She fiddled with her pockets, concentrating on the skies. There was a blizzard crystal at her disposal. Deviously, Piper inserted the crystal on to her staff, satisfied to hear a quaint 'click' as it fell into place. Her heliscooter was still trying to out fly their ambushers.

This time it was Junko who gave the warning, "PIPER!"

Now she was ready, Piper spun her staff around, aiming at the shadows in the clouds. With full concentration she fired an icy blast of snow at the sky ride. It didn't miss. Piper whooped in delight to see that she had gotten a hit.

Again, Junko had to protect Piper from another aerial move with one of his knuckle busters. No one was going to mess with Junko's team! The blast had been reflected right back to its source, sending the vehicle spiraling to the wastelands below.

"Alright!" Junko cheered with fists up in the air.

Piper was smiling triumphantly, "Show yourself, Dark Ace!"

They were met with surprise.

The guy who was falling from the parachute… was not the Dark Ace. He wasn't even a Talon! In fact, Junko and Piper were set off guard. There was no way anyone would be stupid enough to attempt this right…?

Apparently not.

"Leugey… why are you wearing a Dark Ace mask?" Piper deadpanned.

Junko was trying not to fall off his ride in laughter, "Didn't anyone tell you that the Dark Ace does not wear mascara?"

Wait… what?

With 2 more blinks, Piper zeroed in on what Junko was talking about. Good grief… that raptor really WAS wearing mascara! What next? Cyclonis in a pink frilly dress?

"I look sexy as the Dark Ace!" was Leugey's idiotic response, as he floated down with his parachute.

"…"

"Piper, close your virgin ears."

"…It's too late Junko. I think I'm already scarred for life."

* * *

"WHERE IS MY PUPPY?!" Cyclonis punched the wall. Her hormones were off the chart at the moment, while her eyes had a crazed maniacal glint to them. If you messed with Master Cyclonis on her _really_ bad days… well you just got your head chopped up and thrown into the incinerator. Oh, and your heart would be ripped out via chainsaw. Lovely.

Ravess was groveling at her feet, trying not to get her heart ripped out. She wasn't too fond of chainsaws… they were sharp. Besides, it wasn't Ravess' perfect way to die.

With the 'nicest' smile she could muster, (this was very painful for Ravess) she tried to coax the evil dictator, "Now, now, Master… I know how you get near the final days of your… er… period… but uh… there are other ways to entertain yourself!"

Cyclonis gave Ravess the evil glare of death.

With a shudder, Ravess tentatively continued, "You can uh… go burn down orphanages like you always do… whip the chickens in the Cyclonian stables, hang your disloyal subjects by the thumbs until their limbs fall off… you know… must more pleasant things than… than…"

She didn't finish the sentence.

Now, Cyclonis wasn't in a pink frilly dress or anything. Cyclonis was busy modeling, wearing 6-inch stilettos, and showing off her blinding sparkly nails and wearing a low cut red dress. It would've looked great on a normal person. But Master Cyclonis was a child of darkness… she made the dress look _extremely_ scary. Master Cyclonis even looked like the wife of a yakuza…

What was worse? The dress showed enough to skin to reveal Cyclonis' giant skull and bones tattoo on her shoulder. The Skull was busy drinking blood. The artist's depiction of the tattoo was very, very, _very _detailed. Poor Ravess was going to have nightmares. She was even considering dropping to the floor and playing dead to escape.

_If there is a God out there, I'm so SORRY. I will NEVER, ever get angry over Snipe again! I don't care if I get seen as an eternal idiot in the eyes of the Cyclonian Empire… I WANT TO LIVE!_

Well… maybe that was an exaggeration.

There were cages and cages of canines lined up along the room. All the most successful pet shop owners had been kidnapped and shipped against their will with their merchandise to Cyclonia. It was no wonder that thirteen of those pet shop owners fell over into concussions, about twenty had foamed at the mouth, three had committed suicide, one was talking to himself with a sock puppet and there were at least three more who were dancing in circles hailing the darkness. Ravess did not joke at all about this. Cyclonis was _that_ scary looking.

"You call_ these_ mutts? Or even puppies? They're just vermin! Insects! I. Want. My. PUPPY!" Cyclonis seethed.

The rest of the pet shop owners were hugging each other in fetal positions and bawling their eyes out. If Ravess hadn't been a heartless perfectionist, she would've felt empathy and joined them.

"Master, this… this is unreasonable… we have shown you all we have…" said one shy pet shop owner, who had not going insane… yet.

"… Well then, I guess I'll have to dump you all in the wastelands yes…?" Cyclonis asked chilly.

"NO! I mean… I have one more… but he is unsuitable for the customer's safety…"

"Do I look like I care?" Cyclonis glared at him.

"UH…."

Her skull and bones tattoo was starting to look really hungry… Holy Crow! Was it actually leering at him? This place was haunted! He needed to flee!

"TAKE IT! I JUST WANT TO GO HOME!" the last sane pet shop owner yelled in terror (he was never fond of skulls… especially ones that were supposed to _stay _inanimate), he shoved the keys to the final cage in the master's hands, "FLEE MY BREATHREN! FLEE!"

A stampede of mentally insane men stormed out of the castle.

Cyclonis was laughing… wait… Cyclonis was _laughing_? Ravess shivered. Now was the time she really wished she could sprout wings…and fly… far away… like, really far.

In the final cage was an 8-foot bloodthirsty 3 headed dog which was growling at them. Cyclonis smiled. Every Talon in the room squeaked. Was she going to make her new pet EAT them?! They were all too young to die!

"I'm…" Cyclonis started her words.

"I'm in my happy place, I'm in my happy place, I'm in my happy place…" muttered one Talon out of fear.

"Shut up!"

"… Going to name him 'Fluffy'." Cyclonis started to smile.

Everyone went dead quiet. Cyclonis was _still _smiling. Now Fluffy was sniffing her face and licking her with his tongue… at least… one of his heads was.

Ravess' jaw dropped, could Cyclonis' period be over?! Was it entering into a much calmer state?

"Ravess?"

"Yes master?" she answered quickly.

"WHERE IS MY LEMONADE? I WANT MY LEMONADE, DAMN IT! AND GET FLUFFY A GIANT CHEW TOY! FEED HIM _NOW_!"

At this point, Ravess dropped to the floor. To hell with pride. It was time to play dead!

* * *

"Lighting claw attack!" Flashes of blue appeared as Finn tried to dodge the sky knight's signature move but to no avail. Finn crashed into one of the mountains of the dusty hot Terra Saharr with a shriek.

Triumphant, Aerrow turned off his energy blades. Mission accomplished. Now all Aerrow had to do was eternally humiliate Finn! Fun!

If only Radarr would let go of Aerrow's foot. The creature squawked disapprovingly, refusing to let Aerrow inch any closer to his teammate. That traitor!

"Radarr let go!"

Said creature shook his furry head 'no'.

"Radarr…"

Still 'no'.

"Radarr, I'm serious!"

Pausing for a bit, Radarr grinned and then shook his head 'no' once more. Radarr had a lot to profit from if he and Finn succeeded in their impish plot.

"TAKE THIS!" Finn sprayed green paint all over Aerrow with the paint gun he had just _happened_ to bring along. No, of course he hadn't foreseen this in the future… Finn was just really intuitive.

"ARGH!" Aerrow spat the green paint out, unable to see since paint was sloshed all over him, "_FINN!_"

Radarr was just sitting back, relaxing and letting the camera do its' work. Ah, the joys of filmmaking… The furry creature flipped open mini monitor from its pocket. He had implanted hidden cameras on the sky rides of Piper and Junko to get even more footage.

That was when Radarr realized that their teammates were under attack. Uh oh. Radarr jumped up right away and immediately began to gesture to the skies.

Aerrow was in the middle of strangling Finn again, when he noticed Radarr's panic, "What's wrong boy? Is it going to rain?"

Frantically Radarr kept pointing.

Finn got up quickly, eager to get the answer, "Oh, oh, I know! A hot chick is going to fall out of the sky and fall for me right?"

Oh, if Radarr could talk… the things he would say to people…

Out of nowhere, a woman really did fall on top of Finn, with some very heavy arsenal of weapons. Finn fell face first against the sand, spitting out rocks with disgust, "Aw! What was that? Was it…?"

Starling got up swiftly, picking up her nun chucks with her, "Where did Repton…?" The interceptor finally took notice of the two Stormhawks, "Oh, you. What bring you to Terra Saharr."

"…You're… standing… on… my… body…" Finn wheezed out from suffocation.

The interceptor was indifferent, "Yes, sorry," she stepped back, "What's with the green paint Aerrow?"

"It was Finn," he droned, wiping the pain off with his sleeve.

"Oh," she nodded, "have you seen Repton? He's been causing trouble here… I was just fighting him when he threw me off my ride… I think I saw his men attacking Piper…"

Common sense finally kicked in for Aerrow.

"Piper? Oh my god! We have to go and save them!" Aerrow blurted out, "Come on Finn, Radarr!"

"… Yup… just a sec… as soon as I can feel my bones again…"

Starling frowned, "I'm not _that_ heavy…"

* * *

Stork was having a relatively peaceful day… except for the fact that Junko ruined his wonderful baby—the Condor. The merb was now occupied with the restoration of his beloved. Wrenches, paint and oil were all scattered around him as he hammered away, making sure that not a scratch would be left on the Condor.

Humming a dark tune that he had learned on his home terra, Stork reveled in the peace and quiet. Sure, soon Aerrow would be dragging them all to hell with another one of his crazy plans, but at least Stork could enjoy the quiet while it lasted. It was just him and the Condor—the ideal date for a paranoid captain.

Clang! Something was on the ship. It was moving in the hallway with rather clumsy steps. It was definitely not any of the Stormhawks. Stork was certain that it was the pet bunny he had owned as a child which he had accidently dissected for a school project come back from the dead to eat his brain.

Cue the hyperventilating, Stork was terrified. Death by undead bunny rabbits from hell did not seem like a good way to go.... or maybe it was a banshee come to take his soul or some kind of mutant alien monster from beyond space come to take over the Atmos or even worse, an infestation of disease ridden vampire flies? His active imagination was coming into play.

Shadows loomed over the hangar; Stork jumped and grabbed his broom as well as his anti-mind control helmet. Screw the vampire flies! No infestations of pathogen-carrying things were going to infect his Condor! Stork was a Stormhawk who had braved many challenges! Maybe 'braved' wasn't the word... but still...

Thump. Thump. Thump. The steps were getting closer, making Stork's heart rate rise off the charts. Sweat dripped down his forehead as his knees started to buckle... Any moment now and he would die in vain...

The outline of the figure of the hallway could be seen on the floor as Stork hid behind the wall, ready to defend his home. Wait for it... he kept telling himself, wait for the right moment this time...

"Duh... Hoerk, are you sure this is what Repton told us to do...?" A nasally voice sounded out in the seemingly empty Condor.

Another answered it, "Yup! He said... um... he said... he said... something about the Condor...?" There was a pause. "Actually... I forget."

Slap!

"OW! That hurt!" complained Hoerk.

"You idiot!"

"Hey you're more idioter than me! You talk funny!"

"You have lousy vocabulary... and 'idioter' is not a word, dummy!"

"Well it's-"

"CHARGE! GET AWAY FROM MY CONDOR!" Stork jumped on to Hoerk and Spitz with the broom of fiery rage.

Squashed against each other as soon as they slammed against the ground, the raptors scowled in pain. Spitz started to curse at Stork, "Get. Off. Us. You. Noob!"

"At least I'm not the cross dresser!" Stork strangled Spitz in his paternal instinct over the Condor.

Hoerk was barely conscious or even aware of what he was saying, "Don't call Spitz a cross dresser! He looks pretty in that dress!"

Stork released his grip on Spitz' neck the moment Hoerk said the words 'pretty' and 'dress'. Slowly, Stork looked down at Spitz... he was dressed in a lacy pink bra and Scottish kilt.

And it looked like Stork was straddling him.

"MY EYES!" Stork stumbled away in terror, "I NEED DISINFECTANT! I NEED A DOCTOR! ARGH! MY EYES!"

This day kept getting better and better... not.

* * *

"Take the left. I want Repton to myself," Starling glowered at her scaly enemy with a passion that rivaled Aerrow's when it came to the Dark Ace. The hair flowing behind her in the air made her look like a furious Amazonian Queen.

Aerrow was busy cursing himself silently. He was so irresponsible! If only he had waited for Piper and Junko before chasing after Finn in spite. He was supposed to take care of his teammates… Self-anger filled his eyes; Aerrow rammed his foot against the pedal of his sky ride. It flew faster.

If anything happened to Junko or Piper—especially Piper, Aerrow would tear the Dark Ace's limbs off. The image was graphic, but when it came to his rival Dark Ace, Aerrow tended to move into the darker side of his imagination.

The sky knight focused on what was ahead. He nodded slightly, "its fine. There's only one Talon I'm going to take down today… that's the Dark Ace."

Starling cursed under her breath, "It figures he would be here too… All right, Finn, you'll take out all of those who get in our way. I'm counting on you to secure our comrades' safety and protect our backs."

"You got it, Starling!" Finn nodded with his sharp shooter in his hands.

It seemed like Starling was calling the shots. Oh well. It would make things more interesting… Finn glanced at Radarr and winked. Radarr nodded, pointing to the hidden cameras. The show was still on.

"There!" Starling pointed where there was clearly some kind of conflict… a damaged vehicle had fallen past them.

"Piper!" Aerrow breathed out in relief. It seemed like Junko and Piper were holding out on their own. He should've had more faith in them, considering their skills in battle. He hadn't been able to help it of course; his heart had jumped up protectively as soon as the words 'Piper' and 'attack' were heard… Aerrow dismissed this, it couldn't be important…

His sky ride charged towards the sky battle, his energy blades were ready in his hands. Aerrow was ready to fight some Talons, win another victory and save the day…

"Hey it's Aerrow!" Junko hollered, pointing towards the three figures in the distance. "I think Finn is with him too… and Starling!"

"That's great Junko!" Piper smiled sheepishly. "But uh, please focus on the enemy behind you!"

Several energy blasts whizzed on their way towards Piper. She quickly swerved her heliscooter out of the way and took it upon herself to retaliate with another blast of her blizzarian crystal. Her hands were sweaty from exhaustion; Piper barely had time to think as another blast barely grazed the edge of her face. Without thinking, she had stirred her heliscooter out of the way in another loop into the clouds.

Junko immediately punched his knuckle busters together, seeing Piper's dilemma. Repton was hot on their trial with a Cyclonian staff and increasingly good aim. The wallop turned his sky ride towards the reptilian man with a glare, "Sorry about this, but I can't let you pick on my teammate!"

With a wham, Junko had charged his sky ride towards Repton's, ripping the entire wing off with one energy induced punch. Repton responded quickly, his blade entrenched into the engine of Junko's sky ride before Repton yanked it out with satisfaction. Junko's sky ride was sent tumbling into the wastelands before Junko could even realize what was happening.

Meanwhile, Repton merely switched the wings on his sky ride with a new built-in auto-mechanic feature. The reptile chuckled maliciously, speeding up his velocity towards destroying Piper. The girl would not stand a chance.

But what was this? Junko had jumped onto Repton's ride before his fell. The wallop was grinning triumphantly at Repton, about to punch the living daylights out of him. Repton snarled, instincts protecting him as he slashed his weapon at Junko's chest. Junko snapped back in surprise, falling off of Repton's seat.

"ARGH!" Junko yelled, disappearing out of sight.

Repton smirked demonically, "Bye, bye, Stormhawk…"

"Not on my watch!" Junko pried his knucklebusters off as he fell, throwing them up at Repton's face.

With a bang, Repton received the full blow of the attack. Stars flew around his head as Repton's consciousness swerved into a realm of dizziness.

A blue Stormhawks parachute flumped out of Junko's bag to save the wallop from crashing into the wasteland. Peering up, Junko waved his hands towards Finn who had caught up to them, now engaged in shooting multiple arrows at Repton for messing with his best friend.

"Finn!" Junko yelled, "I need a lift!"

"You got it, Junko!" Finn saluted, as he fired another shot at Repton's sky ride, making it splutter and slow down. Repton was still being drunk on dizziness from Junko's earlier blow.

The sharpshooter zoomed towards his friend.

Finally, Repton snapped out of his daze. He was furious.

"Meddling Stormhawks!" he pushed his foot against the pedal. Those Stormhawks were making him look like a fool. He had had enough of them. It was time for one of them to meet his or her death… now.

Leugey was tied to Piper's heliscooter, dangling from the end by a rope. It had been Junko's idea, as a form of humiliation against the raptor. Now Piper was regretting it. Leugey's weight was slowing her down. She needed to get to the Condor… where was Stork?

There was no where to run. Piper's graceful heliscooter wasn't a fast and evasive as a sky ride. Silently, she cursed her preference of vehicles… what if the REAL Dark Ace showed up? Repton was going to destroy her!

Too late. Piper felt a tremor in her heliscooter's engine. The propellers were spluttering uncontrollably. She could feel herself shifting up and down, as the engine made more frightening noises, indicating the inevitable fall. If Piper had looked up, she would've seen that Repton had hit the center of the propellers with one blast of the Cyclonian staff he bore.

Piper was too busy panicking over her life at the moment. One. Two. Three. The heliscooter hovered for just a few heart stopping moments… and then it fell. Adrenaline rushed up against Piper's heartbeat. She screamed. There'd be no one to catch her now…

"Oof!"

"OW! My head…!"

Her body had landed on something soft… and ticklish. A smell of mint reached Piper's nose as she realized she could see red… red hair… Wait… Was this…?

"AERROW?" Piper exclaimed in astonishment with a face turning into an even brighter shade of red than his hair.

She had landed on top of Aerrow, in his _lap_, with her _face_ in his _hair_! For the second time that day… Piper fainted on the spot, on top of Aerrow.

Radarr began to cackle like banshee. Oh this was too good!

Aerrow was babbling like an idiot, hands twitching in uselessness, eyes covered by Piper's neck. Their proximity was suffocating Aerrow in blissful heat. How had he ended up in such a compromising situation again? Not that he was complaining… she smelled really nice and she was really warm…

Oh god. Finn was right! He was becoming a pervert! NOOOOOOOOOOOO! (Did Aerrow even realize that the definition of 'pervert' was someone who _practiced _perversion…? Not, thought compromising thoughts of perversion?)

It took him a while before he realized that Radarr was screaming at him and that his sky ride was spiraling out of the control because of Aerrow's 10-minute period of going brain dead. The sky knight shifted over, so that Piper was sitting more comfortably on his lap, and he could lean his cheek against hers to stir the sky ride upwards towards the battle.

Common sense told him to focus on the Raptors and Talons… not the vicinity of his… er… heated problem.

"I am not a pervert… I am not a pervert… I am not a pervert…" Aerrow muttered malevolently, in an attempt to keep the beastly blush off his face.

Radarr merely snickered at him. Note to self: let Radarr sleep outside tonight… with Finn. Second note to self: hugging Piper feels nice. Third note to self: STOP GLANCING AT PIPER IT MAKES THE PROBLEM WORSE!

Aerrow really wanted to kill something. Preferably the Dark Ace… Ah, the Dark Ace would be the perfect scapegoat to blame all his problems on… and then Finn. Oh, and Radarr too. Then Aerrow would be happy with his life.

Starling had her eyes focused on Repton. The moment the leader of the raptors fired the shot at Piper, Starling had her nun chucks out, ready to knock Repton to his feet in a sweet surrender. An interceptor always did the job right.

"Take this Repton…" she whispered cruelly, flinging the purple nun chucks to Repton—right at the noggin as he deserved.

His sky ride knocked back, and Repton snarled at her, "YOU!"

"So nice to see you remember me," Starling mocked him, "Now, prepare yourself."

It was no surprise when Repton took the first move in a violent slash towards her feet. Starling somersaulted off her ride and landed on to Repton's with grace, whirling her nun-chucks towards his heart. The energy crystals attached to the nun-chucks burnt an inch of Repton's armor. The interceptor had upgraded her choice of weapon.

Repton hissed at her. She smirked. He made another move—a slash towards her heart. Starling made sure to block it with her nun chucks, and then take advantage of Repton's opening. Her foot swerved forward to hit him in the groin. The raptor cursed and fell back. Starling whipped her nun chucks around and forced them to his neck.

"Tell me what your plan is Repton!" Starling sneered.

He recovered and threw her off him, then he pinned her to the sky ride, "What are you going on about, sky knight? I'm merely retrieving my brothers! You're just an obstacle that I'll be happy to be rid off!"

In no time, Starling saw her beloved nun chucks being taken from her as Repton attempted to stab her with one of the energy crystals on the nun chucks. Starling's temperament broiled over. She kicked her knees up, hitting Repton in the stomach, rolling on top of him while the ride was still speeding across the sky, switching roles.

Now Repton was the one captive once more. Starling was the one with the crystal at his heart.

"I can do it at any time Repton. I can take your life. You owe me." She simmered quietly, a ruthless warrior of the skies.

As always, Repton held his pride, "why don't you do it, interceptor? Just kill me while you have the chance, like you did last time! Are you too much of a coward to avenge your squadron?"

Her eyes flashed. She wanted to slap him. But Starling's heart made her keep patience.

"You're not worth killing."

The only sound left was Repton's breathing and the whirl of the sky ride's engine.

Uncharacteristically, Repton complied, though it was probably only to save his own hide. His eyes told Starling that he was still thoroughly enraged, even if he was subdued for now.

"… what do you want to know, Starling?"

* * *

They were in the hanger of the Condor. Starling had Repton tied up in ropes, while Finn and Junko came in on Finn's sky ride. They waited for Aerrow, Piper and Radarr next. The interrogation couldn't begin without them.

Pretty soon, Aerrow landed his sky ride in the hanger.

Starling's eyes lit in amusement as Aerrow carried Piper off the seat, "Looks like someone got lucky today…"

Aerrow glared. Not Starling too!

"Don't even say another word…" Aerrow glowered.

He never thought he'd see the day when Finn and Starling would simultaneously smirk at him with evil expressions. And to think, Radarr had joined them a long time ago. His friends were just filled with traitors.

He switched to 'leader' mode, "Look guys, we need to get Piper settled down first… so…"

"I dunno man, you guys look pretty tight like that… Why not just keep holding her?" Finn teased.

"Yeah you guys look so cute together!" Junko agreed.

And then there was one. Junko had joined the evil force known as 'Finn'. Now Aerrow felt like the world was ending.

He glared at them, pouting as he did so.

"Oh grow up, Aerrow," Starling smiled knowingly, "Now, to more important matters…" She peered at Repton icily, "Tell us why you were on Terra Saharr."

Peeved, Repton muttered, "… My brothers ran away again, trying to show me that they could do random crap. We were supposed to dress up as Cyclonians and ruin their reputations by trashing Terra Saharr… but then the IDIOTS decided to turn it into a cross-dressing exercise!"

There was a silence.

"Wait… what?" Finn gawked.

"My brothers… they cross-dress… for fun."

More silence.

"A HA HA HA! DUDE! YOU SUCK!" Finn was rolling on the ground in laughter with Radarr as Junko banged his fists on the table in mirth.

"… I will kill you in your sleep." Repton threatened him.

Aerrow and Starling stood motionlessly in shock—particularly Starling. Her eyes were fiery with loathing, "Wait… you WEREN'T trying to take over the Atmos this time?!"

Repton was beginning to wonder if everyone in this ship was mentally challenged, "Uh… no."

"Then… WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!" Starling lost her temper, "YOU WERE JUST TRYING TO STOP YOUR BROTHERS FROM CROSS-DRESSING?! GOD! I'VE NEVER HEARD OF A LAMER STORY! _THAT'S_ IT! I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!"

"WAIT STARLING!" Aerrow yelled, as Finn and Junko restrained her. Aerrow was still holding Piper, while Radarr filmed the whole scene.

"I'm sure there's an explanation…" Aerrow looked at Repton, "You said you were dressing up as Cyclonians right? Why? Does the Dark Ace have something to do with this? I know he's here on Terra Saharr!"

Now, Repton was confused. When Repton was confused, he got frustrated. And when Repton got frustrated, he tended to border on the side of grouchy. "The Dark Ace? What are you—retarded? The Dark Ace isn't on Terra Saharr! We were trying to ruin the Dark Ace's reputation by masquerading as him! We were going to make our 'Dark Ace' imposter run into a few mountains, admit that I was superior, humiliate himself by dancing to ballet! We were trying to show Cyclonis that we don't answer to her, even if she's on her time of the month! The Dark Ace is on Terra Fuji, you nitwits! It was all us!"

"…"

"Seriously, you don't know how annoying the Master gets when she's on her period! She won't shut up about puppies and boy bands and glitter… and now she wants to take over Terra Neon… and all sorts of garbage…"

"…."

"NOW, will you let me go?!"

"…"

"Hello…?"

Carefully, Junko and Finn inched away from the radiating dark auras surrounding Aerrow and Starling. They had never seen the two sky knights—normally calm and collected—so malignant.

Starling and Aerrow looked up at Repton with eyes of evil.

"So you weren't doing anything evil huh…?"

The last thing Repton remembered was his own screaming. The sky knights had thrown Leugey and Repton out via Stork's trap doors.

* * *

"Ravess… you realize that playing dead will not save you from my immeasurable wrath right?" Master Cyclonis prodded the woman who was lying still on the carpet.

No action.

"Ravess… you _want_ me to sic Fluffy on you?" Master Cyclonis suggested sweetly.

The perfectionist jumped to her feet, "N-NO Master… I'll do as you say Master… I apologize…"

The master smirked, "Of course. Bring Fluffy a suitable meal… after that, we go to Terra Neon. I want that Terra. Be sure to inform the Dark Ace that I want all preparations ready on Terra Fuji so that he can capture the target. We're ready."

* * *

"… I guess I'll go to Terra Neon to investigate what Repton said about Master Cyclonis…" Starling murmured. She was still annoyed about the time she wasted chasing Repton.

Junko nodded, "Then we'll go to Terra Fuji to stop the Dark Ace."

"Hey… where's Stork?" Finn inquired.

The three of them walked in to the main room of the Condor where Stork had Hoerk and Spitz dangling above a cauldron of who knows what.

Stork was casually stirring the cauldron, humming, "Double… double toil and trouble… fire burn and cauldron double…."

They gaped at him.

"Oh hey guys! Just making sure that these pests are going to be disinfected," hummed Stork, "Then we can dump them in the wastelands…. "

Finn leaned down to Radarr, "You getting this…?"

Radarr grinned. Oh, he was getting _everything_ on camera."

-

-

-

Sorry I haven't updated in a while… I've been busy with schoolwork. I made up for it with the length of this update though. Good thing this story will only be 6 – 7 chapters long… I tend to increase the length of my installments the longer a story is…

About the battle scenes, I hope they weren't too irksome to read. I know I don't write battles very well, or very long. Sorry about that. Oh, I also borrowed 'Fluffy' from the 1st book of Harry Potter. So I don't own Fluffy.

Next time: The Stormhawks go to Terra Fuji (I made up this terra) to find the REAL Dark Ace and encounter Princess Peregrine. Meanwhile Starling faces off against Ravess while Cyclonis merely enjoys the rides of Terra Neon… and Radarr meets up with his stalker chicken once more!

Thanks for reading! Please point out any grammatical errors! I apologize for the severe oocness!


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:** If I owned Stormhawks, then there would be soo much more drama, angst, death and romance!!! YAY! Of course, Stormhawks is still a happy go lucky kids cartoon show, so I guess I don't own it (yes, despite this crackish funny fic I love writing tragic angst stories with bitter endings... good thing this is a comedy...)

**Recap:** As it turns out, the Raptors were being idiotic and impersonating the Dark Ace. Now it seems as though the real Dark Ace is on Terra Fuji with Snipe so the Stormhawks set off to go after him. Starling splits up with our favourite sky squadron and heads to Terra Neon to confront Master Cyclonis...

**Note on Terra Fuji:** It is entirely made up by moi and inspired by my fondness for Japanese culture. If you've ever seen Japanese landscapes and pictures then just imagine Mount Fuji from Tokyo and a traditional feudal Japanese palace as the setting for this chapter.

**Note on Aphro Crystals: **They are also made up by me and inspired by… well… all those parody fanfictions making fun of rabid fangirls of all kinds. Yes, I know I'm also poking fun at myself :)  
**  
Whatever Happened to the Dark Ace?**

Terra Neon was a place of fun, frivolities and careless pleasures. Every child in the Atmos swooned at the chance to go on the Terra's world famous rides or to win one of the Terra's cutest prizes. All the streets were filled with colour and luminescent lights whenever a family would walk by. As the saying went in Atmos: once in Terra Neon, you always come back for more. It was a place to forget your troubles, to laugh until you cried tears of joy or to scream because it was just plain fun to scream.

However, Terra Neon, as all places of fun did, had a down side, a darkness, a shadow. In the midst of such brilliant lights, there would be shadows cast, a deep darkness. In the presence of such glorious proportions, there would always be a lurking predator, a leering suspect who would take advantage of the citizens gathering for play... a pedophile or a criminal looking to cheat innocent minds. And as every evil doer knew, if you took away all the things that gave people joy away forever, and hoarded for yourself... then you would truly make them miserable. You would truly rule over anyone as long as you held the keys to their heart's joys... and forever kept the locks shut.

Of course... who gave a penny about that garbage? Master Cyclonis wasn't even thinking about being evil today. She was just being very possessive and beyond evil. That was a different story. As soon as the mastermind strolled into the park, every parent's jaws dropped at the sight of her. They knew who she was.

"It's... it's Master Cyclonis!" they whispered frantically to each other, unable to contain their fears and woes.

She smirked. It was always enjoyable to see people squirm in her presence. It was as if God had already told them the rules. She was superior and everything was hers.

"Ravess... Fluffy... I want everyone out of MY amusement park. Get rid of them." Cyclonis ordered smoothly, her voice holding her icy amusement. "I shall indulge myself in some rides."

Looking up at the ravenous three headed dog and the mad woman who was stringing arrows through the air at them, a bystander screamed, "WHY DO WE ALWAYS GET ATTACKED BY PSYHCOS?!"

* * *

"Terra Fuji is on the East Quadrant of the Atmos... We don't usually go there because it's for citizens with high class and hoards of wealth," Piper explained. "It's very hard to get into because the people who live there are very proud and greedy. They only let you in if you have the money."

"Money?" Junko exclaimed innocently, "Man, that's just... barbaric! How can people live like that?"

How could anyone NOT live like that?

Finn and Radarr exchanged mischievous glances before whistling innocently into the air. This didn't get overlooked by Aerrow who made sure to give each of them a firm kick under the table. He was still pretty irritated at both of them for obvious reasons. Then he looked over at Piper and smiled, letting her continue. She smiled back. The merb watched their exchange in silence...

Romantic feelings...? Stork thought, I better warn them later... I could be wrong... For once, Stork used tact. Romance, after all, was a disease that needed to be dealt with delicately...In the end, it was merely a guess.

Twirling a strand of her midnight blue hair in her fingers, Piper's eyes traced the page of the book softly, "... it's a mountainous region with a pretty distinct culture from ours and a lot of bitter history from the instances of exploring Atomosians and Kings seeking conquest. They have to make a living by promoting hotels, tea ceremonies, geisha dancing, and Fuji-style festivals, selling souvenirs such as katanas (Fuji swords) or kimonos (Fuji style robes and dresses)... Their best industry is in the Hot Springs called onsen and Massage Business with beautiful women."

Crash! Everyone looked over at Finn who had slipped off his chair and smacked his face against the floor. Before anyone could blink, Finn had regained his footing and sat up straight in the air, eyes gleaming with excitement, "hot springs, massages AND hot babes?! I'm sooo in!"

The Stormhawks could only roll their eyes in shame. Only one word could really describe their current situation: Finn.

"Ohayo ladies, I am Finn-sama of the Stormhawks! Aishiteru!" Finn babbled.

Stork rolled his eyes, "What do you know? He can speak the language too..."

"…what did that even mean?" Junko wondered.

"Ohayo means hello… Finn-sama means Master Finn; it's a term of respect to people of authority or fame and so on… Aishiteru means 'I love you'… Frankly Finn, please stop speaking Fuji language, it'll confuse people," Piper deadpanned in an extremely blunt manner.

Like the readers. Moving on…

"Let's get to those kimonos and massages! Fly Stork, fly!" Finn yelled, "Foreign love awaits me! Terra Fuji Babes!"

They all looked at him as if he had grown an extra head. Piper spoke up to bring Finn's over inflated imagination back to the ground once more, "what part of 'we need money' do you not understand? We're not going to Terra Fuji to relax and have fun; we're going to have to sneak in!"

Pausing, Finn shrugged, "so we're freeloading then! Even better!"

He went to fetch some clothes suitable for the trip in much ecstasy while Radarr followed suit. The rest of the team watched with blank awe in the daily actions of Finn.

Aerrow groaned, "there's no way we're going to talk sense into them," he pointed to Radarr and Finn who had already found some kind of yukatas and kimonos to wear (when had they even bought them?). The two troublemakers/masterminds were busy trying out the kimonos in great amusement and glee.

There was really no other option. If they were going to stop the Dark Ace from… well, whatever he was up too then they needed to get into that terra.

"Stork, make a course to Terra Fuji."

"WHOO HOO!" Finn hollered at the top of his lungs, causing Stork to clamp his ears down in disgust.

Both Piper and Aerrow exchanged similar glances. With what had happened in the first 3 hours of today already, the rest of the day would probably end up even worse.

* * *

Terra Fuji was picturesque: complete with rolling snow capped mountains yet brimming with cherry blossom trees of soft pink over the green plains. There was a nostalgic feel of magic accompanying this beautiful terra as herons flew in the sky with some snapping lizards. Small little creeks decorated the hills and in the outskirts of the large terra were lush green forests, stretching onwards to the edges of the mountains. Long wooden mansions of Fuji style were built, scattered around the terra with long bridges of eastern Atomsian design. Red lanterns which glowed of firelight hung from the trees along wires, lighting up the paths. Mystical.

In the center of the terra was a large palace of red with painted walls and more Eastern Atomsian designs of dragons, lotuses and clouds. Aerrow whistled with amazement as they walked out of the condor on foot. It was like a whole new world… another side to the Atmos he had never seen before.

The Atmos was certainly filled with untold wonders; he smiled thoughtfully, taking a look at the species of soft hued flowers which adorned the sides of the stone roads. He considered picking some later, for Piper… When they were younger he had done so frequently, but lately over the years he had stopped.

I wonder which ones Piper will like? He tried to recall her favourite colours and fragrances before Stork's exclamation of shock jolted him to attention.

"EEK! This place is crawling with fireflies… dragonflies and oh… my… god… is that a catfish in that pond over there?! Dear God save me now! I forgot to research the dangers of this Terra! I must be getting out of shape!" Stork swooned in his panic in the unfamiliar territory. "That's it! I'm wearing my anti-mind worm helmet! There's no telling what's lurking in this strange terra…"

"Stork, calm down," Aerrow caught the pilot before he could scurry to the Condor for refuge, "It's just a mission to find the Dark Ace… alright? We're not going to do anything else. I promise."

The merb shook his head in mourning, "there's nothing you can do, Aerrow."

"But-"

"Really, we're doomed. My danger senses are tingling. They tell me that unforeseeable doom will come upon us today! Didn't you see the SIGNS, Aerrow?! It all started with Finn's stupid question, Junko ruining my baby Condor, and then suddenly the raptors are cross-dressing and now BAM we're here in alien territory! I know a conspiracy when I see one, I bet you're not even the real Aerrow I bet you're an imposter! IMPOSTER I SAY-"

"STORK!" Aerrow smacked him on the head, "CALM. DOWN. AND. BREATHE."

Not wanting to get hit again, Stork complied. He took some deep breathes and then calmly looked Aerrow in the eye. "Oh, and uh, everyone just left without us."

"… oh ok… wait what?! Guys wait up!" Aerrow called after the rest of his squadron, "Stork! Why didn't you tell me?"

"… did you _expect_ me to tell you anything coherent when I was busy hyperventilating in my totally sound arguments of paranoia?" Before Aerrow could answer Stork shook his head, "No. I didn't think so."

Aerrow reminded himself never to get into a debate with Stork. He'd never get the chance to put a word in. Instead, Aerrow contented himself with dragging Stork to the rest of group.

Until he bumped into a large crowd of girls… correction: a large crowd of drooling, squealing and rabid looking teenage girls. Uncharacteristically an shiver crawled up Aerrow's spine as he was suddenly pummeled by weights of countless female bodies all clawing at his clothes and screaming in who knows what strange language. Poor Stork shrieked, caught up in the horrible display of carnivorous women.

Strangely enough, all of their eyes seem mulled over by an eerie glow of magenta…

"Oh my GOD! It's Aerrow from the Stormhawks!"

"Take his clothes off! I want his hair for my everlasting collection of Aerrow artifacts!"

"I touched his hand!"

"Move over nerds, I'm going for his lips!"

The shrieking on top of the clawing traumatized Aerrow to no end, "SOMEONE HELP ME!"

"I'M KIND OF TIED UP AT THE MOMENT TOO, YOU KNOW!" Stork wailed as soon the Stork-fixated girls held the merb captive tied to a pole, "Don't touch me! I have the powers of… er… the Storkasaurus!"

"I can't believe it's really _them_, oh I could faint!" whispered Stork Fangirl #1.

Stork Fangirl #2 nodded furiously, "Now that we have them, what do we do?!"

"… I never really thought about it, I've always fantasized of…" Stork Fangirl # 79 trailed off into her world of strange Stormhawks fantasies.

"We could always dress him up in a dress!" squealed Stork Fangirl #49.

Stork Fangirl #65 nodded in agreement, "I love it when Stork cross dresses!"

This is bad… really bad, Stork thought hurriedly, if they succeed in their sick twisted plots I could end up… Gah! It's too horrible to imagine but luckily I have a plan! I have heard of the rumored rabid fangirls and I know how to fight them off…

At this point, Stork began to laugh like an insane serial killer bent on twenty hundred massacres. Yes, Stork was that scary. Some of his more intelligent Fuji Fangirls began to back away slowly in very wise fear.

"Behold!" Stork cried out for all 79 Fuji Stork Fangirls to hear him, "The power of the shirtless Stork!"

A ribbon was at the side of his shirt collar. Stork moved his neck and pulled on the ribbon with his teeth revealing his chest to all the doting fangirls, blinding them with the image of the shirtless Stork which was too fabulous for the Stork fangirls to behold.

"AH! MY EYES! It's too sexy!" Fangirl #46 screamed in terror, running around in circles before running into a tree.

"I will die now and go to heaven! Mmm-mmm!" sighed Fangirl #55 who fainted out cold upon the sight of Stork's strip tease.

As predicted, the rest of the fangirls followed suite in a domino effect of fainting girls. Stork sighed, "I am never ever ever ever _ever_ strip teasing again—even if it is one shirt."

The humiliation… but then again, it was better then being gagged and kidnapped by hormone raging teenaged girls. Now that was scary.

Stork blinked, "Did I forget something…?"

"STORK!" the distant cries of the distraught Aerrow suddenly broke Stork's concentration.

"Oh yeah…" Stork shrugged, "He's a sky knight, and he can totally handle that pack of ravenous hyenas…"

Wrong.

Aerrow could fight the Dark Ace. Aerrow could fight Master Cyclonis. Aerrow could do stunts, triple flips, death defying jumps and more but he could not for the life of him fight off a pack of girls. In short, Aerrow was doomed.

* * *

"So…" Ravess tiptoed around the barren Terra Neon, on patrol.

Basically her orders were to chase off every civilian off the Terra so that Master Cyclonis could take over and do who knows what. Most likely the master wanted to go on the tea-cup rides, take all the little prizes, and ride the roller coasters at insane speeds—just more ridiculous pastimes during her time of the month. Ravess was pleased to be as far away from the master as possible, envying her brother Snipe who was even further away.

This was insane. Cyclonis had insisted for Ravess to bring her oversized three-headed pet Fluffy along for the patrol too… That _thing_ wouldn't stop looking at Ravess with an untrustworthy gleam in its eyes. Something was peculiar about that dog and it was something Ravess did not like at all. Anything the master liked had to be bad news.

Fluffy jolted up, jerked Ravess forward. Her hand gripped on the long leashed the master had attached to Fluffy's collar. Ravess cursed, stumbling into a stand of shooting games, "what is it, you stupid mutt?!"

Normally the remark would get her hand snapped off by the jaws of the canine, but it went unheeded. All of Fluffy's attention was fixated on a tiny little squirrel. In fact, this squirrel was busy twitching its nose and minding its own business as it sat on one of the Ferris wheel Compartments, poking its head into a bag of abandoned popcorn.

Ravess' eyes widened. Uh oh… Fluffy bared his jaws, licking his teeth before taking a deep breath. Oh no, oh no, oh no… Ravess began to pray to God once more to have mercy on her soul for whatever sins she had committed in her past life.

The three-headed dog barked loudly, and the chase began. Ravess screamed as Fluffy chased after the frightened squirrel, which scurried underneath the deserted striped tents of red and white. Being dragged on the ground, Ravess cried out indignantly, hand still tied to the leather leash that connected her to the bounding dog.

"YOU STUPID ANIMAL!" Ravess yelled on the top of her lungs, being smashed into cotton candy stands and face paint booths alike, "I ORDER YOU TO STOP!"

Mr. Squirrel was still fleeing for his poor little life, dashing to and fro from display to display. It squeaked in undeniable terror as a looming shadow lunged towards him. Muscular canine legs slammed into pastel coloured stands of cotton candy and plastic. Giant stained teeth snapped dangerously at Mr. Squirrel that was weaving beneath ripped popcorn bags and snapped wood. The squirrel's heart beat furiously, only acting, jumping, reacting.

It really didn't feel like hanging out in a giant three-headed dog's stomach for the rest of eternity, thank you very much. Mr. Squirrel headed for the Mirror World Tent, where it was sure to divert its very enthusiastic predator.

In the meantime, Ravess was dangling helplessly by Fluffy's leash. Her head smacked into several balloons and face paint until her face was splattered with indistinguishable blobs of red, yellow and blue. With each slam against the ground, and who knows what else, Ravess cursed Fluffy and Cyclonis with every throbbing bone in her body.

"Someone-" her head cracked against a steel display of souvenirs, "-call this-" once more, her stomach was kneed by a hammer, "-thing off!"

A crash shattered any remaining sane thoughts from Ravess' mind. Fluffy has trampled into the tent of mirrors, ripping through the red fabric and smashing into halls of mirrors. Chills went through Ravess' spine. If her head hit any of the mirrors… that would hurt like hell…

Fluffy charged unexpectedly. Ravess' body lurched forward unwillingly, an unwilling captive being dragged into a hallway of endless accidents and future blood loss.

"NO!" Ravess scowled, gaining all her strength possible to move forward and grab the leash that was attached to her boot with her hands, "If I have to gnaw my foot off so be it!"

The squirrel crossed Fluffy's line of vision and the dog pounced on instinct. Ravess was ready for this; she forced her arm back to her bow and arrow and shot at the leash. Perfect aim. Her arrow flew and ripped through the leash, releasing Ravess from the canine's clutches. Falling back, Ravess fell against the leftover shreds of the tent fabric with bits of shattered glass on her clothes. The perfectionist simmered with the humiliation of allowing this dog to get the best of her.

"This calls for revenge!" Ravess vowed, gathering her bow and arrow for battle.

Her earlier mission to scour the Terra chasing off civilians and intruders was forgotten…

* * *

It was too quiet for Starling's liking… The entire Terra was deserted. Only the sound of some distinct crashes provided evidence of some presence on Terra Neon. Starling smiled bitterly, it was probably the Cyclonians. If Repton's tall tale was correct, then the master had some sort of business here.

Starling would stop whatever evil plans Cyclonis had in motion…

But this was ridiculous.

"Cyclonis… is riding a merry-go-round…?" Starling gaped from her hiding spot behind a stuffed animal booth, "… and she's eating strawberry ice cream while wearing… cat ears?!"

Yup. This story just got more random.

* * *

"Hey!" Finn waved happily to Stork, "Where have you been? We've almost got the plan under way to sneak into the hot springs!"

Piper gave him a look.

"Er… to find the Dark Ace of course…" Finn corrected himself.

"There's no time for that!" Stork shouted at Finn, waving his arms wildly, "Aerrow's getting jumped by hoards of rabid fan girls!"

They were all in a daze. Fan girls? What? Only Finn and Radarr snapped out of their astonishment to realize the pure gold they had on their hands. Thanks to the mini cameras that Radarr had snuck onto the heads of each Stormhawk member, Finn and Radarr would get all the footage they needed for their film…

Then Finn stopped his crafty line of thinking to realize something very important, "Wait… how come Aerrow has fan girls and not me?!"

"Finn…" Piper growled, "There's no time for envy, we've got to save Aerrow from… well… whatever they're going to do to him! Come on!"

In the distance, their esteemed leader let out a strangled cry. They all exchanged worried glances and ran to their leader.

"Aerrow!" Piper cried out, watching as Fan girls were killing each other for the chance of ripping his hair out to keep in their everlasting shrines of worship.

Fan girls with glowing green eyes…

"What do we do?! We can fight girls!" Junko stuttered. "It's just… wrong!"

"This is no time for chivalry!" Piper hissed, pulling out her crystal staff in a flaming desire to see some of those molesting… things… on the ground in pain. "Don't move Aerrow!"

Seeing as Aerrow had hands all over his face, tugging at his lips and eyebrows and even his nostrils, as well as hands ripping at his hair and his limbs, he couldn't move even if he wanted too. His eyes were wide in a pleading desperation, as well as a muffled 'stay back, Piper!'

There was no need for Aerrow to worry about Piper though. She twisted her staff in the air and threw off at least eight fan girls at once with a powerful blow. Her rush of superhuman strength (maybe from jealously?) did not simmer in any moment, for Piper jumped above the resisting fan girls to drop kick them into each other like dominoes. Her hand danced with her staff, taking out more of the fan girls that had resumed their charges.

Finn dashed into the crowd of fan girls blindly, hands outstretched in ecstasy, "Finn is here, ladies! Just keep the love flowing to me now!"

Crickets chirped. Every fan girl was looking at him oddly. Then they resumed their assault on Piper and molestation of Aerrow (his screams were now muffled underneath several gags and lipstick).

"Hey!" Finn scowled, "NO fair! Why does Aerrow get a screaming mob of hot chicks and I don't?! It's not fair!"

The fan girls regrouped, hair wild. They resembled a line of vengeful spirits instead of normal reserved girls in kimonos now. Pale faces stared back at Piper with lewd grins. Piper shivered.

Stork gave out a cry, "Piper, they're getting smarter! Hurry up and do something!"

"Like what?!" Piper wanted to know. "I've tried beating them off but that just makes them more angry!"

"Have you told Aerrow to try stripping?" Stork asked in a loud voice.

"No I haven't. Besides, he's all tied up and… wait… Huh?" Piper's jaw dropped half a mile. "Aerrow is a stripper?!"

In the stir of the moment, Aerrow bit through the gags… somehow. "_I AM NOT A STRIPPER!_"

Once again, he was jumped by girls, the moment his lips were free.

"That's… not what I meant…" Stork muttered pointlessly.

During her time yelling at Stork, Piper had let her guard down. The fan girls took this a moment of advantage. They charged at her, knocking Piper to the ground. Then they proceeded to wrench Piper up by the hair on the back of her head and smash her face against the gravel over and over again. Piper let out a cry.

She twisted her legs up and smashed the fan girls away, twisting her face upwards to breathe. One fan girl still had her clutches on Piper, determined to strangle her. With a growl, Piper swerved her body over and managed to switch their positions. Piper threw the fan girl off with her legs and then picked up her crystal staff from the ground, only to find herself using it to block another assault.

What was making these girls so abnormally violent?!

"Junko! Make a path!" Piper shouted, "Just pretend they're giant sloths from the Black Gorge!"

A fan girl literally clawed at Piper, hissing inhumanely with bloodshot eyes and mellowed skin. Piper yelped and knocked her away with a swift crystal staff movement. But she couldn't fend them off for long like this, even if she was particularly motivated to do so.

Junko nodded, determined to help his friends. "If you say so, Piper! Here goes!"

Punching his knuckle-busters together, Junko raised his fists which were emitting green light. He readied himself to punch a few fan girls, preying that he wouldn't hurt them too badly…

Miraculously, every girl froze at the sight of the green light. All of the violent storms that had been released were suddenly calmed as each girl became… captivated by the green light. The glowing green eyes of every fan girl slowly began to flicker and dim until one of the girls snapped out of her trance.

"… Oh my… what happened here?" she blushed at the sight of the disheveled Aerrow, and then looked at the unconscious bodies of numerous fan girls on the ground. "Oh dear… did it happen again?"

She stepped forward, with her head bowed down and apologetic eyes, "I'm sorry for troubling-"

"STAY BACK, FAN GIRL!" Stork yelled. "It's a trick, guys! Don't fall for it! These things could probably hypnotize you with the guise of friendliness and courtesy but I know it's lying!"

After Stork's outburst, the green light from Junko's knuckle-busters died down and the rest of the fan girls also followed a similar awakening…

"Huh…?"

"Where am I?"

"Whoa. This is so not the bar…"

"… Where'd my husband go…?"

Finn raised an eyebrow, and smirked. "Hey, can I get a number? Maybe we could catch dinner some time or something."

"… not on your life, dude," replied the awakened fan girl # 42.

Even when Aerrow's rabid fan girls were no longer rabid, they only had eyes for Aerrow. After snapping out of whatever violent phase the fan girls had gone through, they became shy, mild and blushing crowds of teenaged girls which stole dreamy gazes at the traumatized Aerrow.

Piper felt really irritated. "Ok, what is going on here?! You better start explaining…"

The girl raised her hands up in surrender. "I'm Crys. I run the inn here. What you just saw is the effect of Aphro crystals on the female population of Terra Fuji."

"Aphro crystals?" Junko repeated. "I've never heard of them…"

As Finn helped Aerrow up, Aerrow gave an expectant look at Piper. As usual, Piper understood the situation entirely.

"You actually have an abundant source of Aphro crystals here? But they're super rare and extremely dangerous! Why are you allowing such high exposure to these crystals?" Piper demanded.

"Uh… you mind explaining what's going on to the _normal_ people in the area?" Finn requested, "We're not all geniuses here."

"I understand perfectly," Stork told him.

"… well, you're weird."

Stork stared at him with raised eyebrows, "…That is such a sad comeback…"

Groaning, Piper explained quickly. "Aphro crystals are octagonal in shape and emerald green in colour. They have several unique properties because of their structure and composition. One of these properties is to enhance beauty to the naked eye. So, if a plain looking girl wanted to look prettier or more appealing to a boy, she'd wear an Aphro Crystal and she'd be instantly attractive."

"Cool, sounds like my kind of crystal!" Finn fantasized about the hoards of 'babes' he'd be able to catch then.

"Oh brother…" Stork sighed.

Aerrow smiled sheepishly as Piper threw the two another irritated stare.

"_But_ there is a horrible side effect," Piper continued on, "… if the wearer of the Aphro crystal sees a green light he or she will begin to experience fits of obsession, violence and possession. If he or she secretly desires and covets something then he or she will stop at nothing to get it. Similarly, if say, I was flashing a green light at the bearer of the crystal, I could control and manipulate the bearer into doing whatever I wanted merely because I was the one in possession of the green light. It's dangerous and very deceptive, allowing a human will to fall helpless to being a blank slate…"

Finn gulped nervously, "I don't think I like the sound of that…"

"Then… the reason the Dark Ace is here must be to find the source of the Aphro Crystals for Master Cyclonis..." Aerrow deduced from Piper's explanation. "If Cyclonis gets a hold of even a handful of these, she could control any one! She could rule over entire Terras of people and even raise up an invincible army."

Invincible because they'd have no will. Invincible because they'd have no emotions but malicious and violent lust for war…

They had just stumbled onto a very sinister plot.

Their group was filled with an eerie silence.

"… I can't believe there was actually a logical explanation for all this," Stork blurted.

No one could help but to break into a smile after that statement. Piper looked at Crys, "Have you been selling these crystals then?"

"Yes. We thought the crystals were jade… a precious gem that is believed to be gone from the Atmos. Many girls bought them, praising the crystals for improving outer beauty. But lately there's been green glows emitted at dawn and dusk from an unknown source. Violence started to emerge from all the customers who bought the supposed Jade. My family and I finally realized that this was not Jade, but Aphro Crystal. But by that time, no one believed us. You see, the bearers don't retain their memories after being awakened from the influence of the Aphro Crystal.

"I was actually experimenting today with the Aphro Crystal." Crys sighed, "Earlier this morning, I bought one and wore it. I wanted to see if it was possible to break out of the Aphro Crystal influence on your own. I asked my friend Edmond to bring out a green flashlight and test it on me, but it seems that there were other girls in the vicinity wearing the crystals as well… Then… they attacked you and your friends. The fabled Stormhawks are very popular in Terra Fuji… especially Aerrow. The girls' affection for Aerrow became violent obsession because of the Aphro. I'm very sorry about this."

She bowed her head down in formal apology, "If there's anything at all I can do for you…"

"Oh no we couldn't possibly…"

"Well, you could give us a free stay at the inn…" Finn interrupted with his usual charisma.

"Finn! We can't just intrude on her like this!" Aerrow frowned, "Haven't you seen what she's gone through on this Terra?! Besides, we need to find the Dark Ace!"

Finn frowned, "Aw but Aerrow! It's FREE… she's the OWNER… what's the harm?! Who else is going to give us a free night at the hot springs inn?!"

"… Maybe I can," an amused voice rang out. "I'd be more than happy to pay for the accommodations of my friends."

They all turned around to see Princess Peregrine grinning happily at them all.

"Perry!" Piper ran over to give her a hug.

"Hooray for freeloading!" Finn cheered.

* * *

Sewers were dark, dingy and foul. Just plain foul. The Dark Ace's mood darkened considerably upon the sight of the blackened tunnel ahead. Damn women and their stupid PMSing… damn Cyclonis for sending him on such a rotten mission… and damn the sewers in general with all the rats and stupid bacteria in it!

The Dark Ace had pride. He definitely didn't want any of his enemies knowing that he had spent several days sulking in a sewer trying to find the 'doorway' Cyclonis spoke of. There was a doorway to the Aphro Crystal mines somewhere in this terra through the sewage lines… now if only the Dark Ace could decipher the Master's directions through the chocolate fudge smudges on the stupid map!

Note to self: have the talons ban all junk food from Cyclonis before her time of the month. She tended to get sloppy with her eating habits before hand. Another thing to hate about his really pathetic life—teenage hormone levels. They were to blame for everything! The Dark Ace frowned and turned around to see Snipe and Commander what's-his-name following behind, picking at their ears and fiddling with string… just as bored as he was.

"Are we there yet?" Snipe whined insistently.

The Dark Ace really wanted to punch something. Snipe would do at the moment but it wouldn't satisfy his morbidity so the Dark Ace ignored him.

Snipe didn't like being ignored. It made him feel belittled and inferior to the Dark Ace. He scowled; the Dark Ace was just being a prick.

"Oy! I'm talking to you!" Snipe yelled once more.

… Did he misplace his bottle of Tylenol? Damn. Another thing to hate. The Dark Ace would have to visit his pharmacist again. Oh the joys of being an insane secondary villain to Master Cyclonis.

I really need a new job, the Dark Ace twitched as sewage goo dripped on his helmet. How disgusting. Relentlessly, the Dark Ace pressed on. The will of Master Cyclonis was more… er… convincing then his pride.

"HELLO?!" Snipe yelled again, waving his arms around like a maniac.

Still, the Dark Ace was caught up in his inner monologues and musings which included his list of hated things as well as his habit of thinking up morbid deaths for everyone he met. He even made a list at home, kept a journal of morbid deaths. Once, he'd even come up with a great death for Cyclonis. Choking on a peanut. Ha! Take that, Master Cyclonis! You shouldn't eat chocolate with almonds in it! Your weakness for chocolate will be your doom! Ahem, anyways…

"DARK ACE, ARE YOU IN THERE?!" Snipe knocked against his skull, making the Dark Ace whirl around and pin him to the sewer wall… which was still filthy by the way.

"WHAT are you babbling about now, _Snipe_?!" the Dark Ace hissed at him. "CAN you not SEE that I am clearly thinking about IMPORTANT THINGS?!"

Like how to kill Master Cyclonis with a toothbrush… or how to decapitate Ravess with a toilet plunger. What? The Dark Ace got creative with his morbidity. Seriously. He even started writing a book about a character that died in every chapter but got miraculously brought back to life via unexplainable plot device.

"Hey, you're the one who's deaf and socially retarded! You can't even respond when someone's talking to you!" Snipe literally spat in his face.

The Dark Ace inwardly crinkled his nose. Ew. That was so going on his list of complaints when he handed in his future never-gonna-happen letter of resignation to Master Cyclonis requesting that his job was too idiotic to even show up for. Right… And who said that the Dark Ace couldn't be sarcastic every once in a while?

Anyways… back to maintaining his dark and evil image.

"Shut up and keep walking. We'll find the Aphro Crystal mine in time… just follow my orders till then!" The Dark Ace commanded in a cold tone that he had perfected quite well.

He liked to practice his evil laughs and dramatic evil-guy poses at home in front of his own catwalk. It was fun. Good times.

Er… right… off topic.

"WHAT crystal mine?! We've been looking for two days and I haven't even seen any hint of a crystal! There's NOTHING here! Cyclonis is just being mentally retarded from all that PMSing that's going on!" Snipe loudly put in his two cents of… well, what ever he usually came up with.

"… Excuse me but I think the Dark Ace is right we have to-"

"No one cares, Commander Chickenface so just sit there like a good side character!" Snipe shouted at what's-his-name.

Wow, Snipe had actually learned to intimidate someone. When had that happened…? The Dark Ace tried to recall but inwardly shrugged. Oh well… he had probably been too busy reciting Shakespearean soliloquies in his at the time.

"I have a name! It's Commander Samurai 101!" what's-his-name stated proudly.

The Dark Ace had no idea _why_ the idiot would be so proud to have such a name. It had _numbers_ in it for crying out loud! That was hardly cool or evil sounding. It made the commander sound like a robot… or someone from the internet. How the Dark Ace knew about the internet has nothing to do with this story, so moving on…

"… Commander Samurai… what? Wow… sorry but dude, even I think that's lame," Snipe told him cruelly, "Face it, you've been immortalized as Commander Chicken… head… or was it leg? Hm…"

Poor what's-his-name (the Dark Ace really needed an attendance list of all the Talons, it was hard to remember who they were!) went steadily red in the face and shouted, "IT'S CHICKENFEATHER YOU NINCOMPOOP!"

All went silent. Well, except for the sound of the sewer water gushing out by their feet and the squeaks of the rats.

Snipe tackled what's-his-name and began strangling him, "DID YOU JUST CALL ME A NINCOMPOOP YOU NAMELESS JERK?!"

… The Dark Ace just twitched. And to think, that his oldest ambition as a child was to be closet poet. Not that he still wrote poetry or anything…

No he was not in denial!

… Ok, maybe he was.

Ok, so _maybe_ he still wrote _some _love poems….

OK, OK, the Dark Ace was STILL a closet poet who had a flair for the romantic tongues of old, happy?

Good, because this was the part where the Dark Ace, Snipe and Commander Chickenfeather fell through the sewage pipe and into the underground laundry chute which just so happened to connect to the hot springs inn. Screaming at the top of their lungs (not the Dark Ace though, he practiced on the essence of bad-ass non-screaming in his shower) the three Talons fell into a pile of silk yukatas and kimonos, dizzy from impact.

The Dark Ace coughed and crawled out of the Terra Fuji clothes pile, realizing that a yukata robe had now slipped around his shoulders. He liked the material of it, really nice and smooth, rich fabric. This place had style.

"Oh my! Are you three alright?" murmured a maid that had come through in all the commotion.

"Er…" They all froze, unsure if they should attack or not.

"Ah! Silly me, I left the laundry there and you must have slipped! Come, I'll show you to the hot springs, you can relax there while I clean up," the maid smiled politely, ushering them in the direction of the open hot springs.

"Er… wait… lady we're not customers we-"

"Sure!" The Dark Ace elbowed Snipe swiftly without the maid noticing. "We'd love to see your hot springs!"

It would not due for them to get caught in the act of snooping around for those Terra Aphro Crystals… The bonus was that they got to soak in a genuine hot springs… and maybe even get massages.

What? The Dark Ace had hormones too… even though he was most likely older than 34… Ok, so he was a closet poet AND pervert. He was a man. A guy's got needs right?

Unknowing, the Dark Ace had just stepped into the events that were unfolding.

* * *

"So, Perry, how come you're at Terra Fuji?" Piper asked her brightly.

Perry smiled back, a beam of sunshine. "Well, Klockstoppia was just so boring! I needed something exciting to do that involved the usual princess duties AND exploring Terras and I found this old treaty that hadn't been fulfilled by my father. Terra Fuji and Klockstoppia have a friendly trade with each other as they're both isolated Terras compared to the rest of the Atmos. My father was supposed to come visit annually to their hot springs as a respect to that trade. So, I'm just here to fulfill my father's neglected duties in his passing away as well as to have some fun!"

"Gah, how exciting! Thanks so much for treating us by the way!"

"No prob, we're practically twins!"

Stork was watching the exchange with mortified eyes. Ugh, girls and their giggling gossiping… who knew how much brain damage Piper would suffer under the Princess' influence?! He shivered, not wanting to find out.

They were in the lobby of the inn, which had padded floors so shoes weren't needed. Barefoot was preferred in the households of the people of Terra Fuji. The maids had insisted that all of them wear yukatas instead of their battle weapons. Aerrow had been stubborn and kept his knives with him, even though the maids assured him that there was no need for such precautions. The Terra was peaceful, they told him again.

Right. And that was why Aerrow had been attacked by rabid girls. Aerrow preferred not to relive that experience any time soon. In fact, he was quite embarrassed that Piper and the others had had to step in to save him. He was team leader right? He should've been able to handle a few crazy deluded girls himself. For the umpteenth time, Aerrow wondered what Piper thought about it. Piper was occupying more and more of his thoughts as the day went by…

Pink filled Aerrow's cheeks. Perhaps he really was becoming a pervert, just like Finn and Starling had hinted? Perhaps he was becoming a bad person, thinking of his teammate as more than a friend. Wait, no! He wasn't thinking of her like that! They really _were_ just friends. Aerrow was just overanalyzing this because he had been caught off guard more times than usual today… right?

Besides, he'd never forgive himself if he ever treated Piper badly. Piper was important to him…

But wasn't that evidence of some kind of affection towards her as well?

Aerrow let out a frustrated gasp and slapped himself, literally. He was being stupid…

"Uh, Aerrow you ok? You just slapped yourself…" Junko pointed out.

Aerrow frowned, "I know."

"… ok, just saying… no need to snap…" Junko backed away, sensing Aerrow's dark mood instantly.

It was funny how Stork was the only one who had figured out that Aerrow was in denial over Piper. Sigh. Stork rolled his eyes, what was this world coming too that he was the most perceptive of all of them?

Maybe that meant that Stork needed to give Aerrow some love advice. Stuff like that. Stork gulped. Oh god, not love advice…

In the meanwhile, Aerrow had still not noticed the adoring looks his subdued fangirls (who were coincidently maids in the Inn hired by Crys) were sending him. Finn, being the guy he was, had. Let's just say Finn was jealous.

"Damn it…" Finn muttered to Radarr who was busy editing all the video footage they'd recorded so far on their multiple cameras with a mini computer watch. "I don't get it! Why is Aerrow so popular? Why does Aerrow get all the fangirls? I want fangirls too! Why don't they like me?!"

Radarr gave him a look of _do I care?_

Finn crossed his arms. "Gee, thanks for cheering me up Radarr."

The furry creature smirked up at him smugly. _Whatever, man…_ that look seemed to say.

Sometimes Radarr really annoyed Finn and that was saying something, considering that Radarr couldn't speak back to him.

A light bulb came on in Finn's head. "Maybe the Terra Fuji girls like the gentleman type of guy or the hero type! I can be that kind of guy!"

Radarr snorted, shaking his head. _No way, you are NOT gentleman or hero material, Finn._ That shake of the head seemed to say.

"You're on! I'll show you Radarr!" Finn scowled.

* * *

It was minor, really. Piper hadn't even noticed it until Perry pointed out how many girls were looking over at Aerrow, how many _interested _girls were looking at Aerrow. Nope, Piper was not jealous. There was no way that Piper could be jealous. Aerrow was just a boy. A boy who happened to be her best friend and leader. No… she was not jealous…

Even if she gave Aerrow the cold shoulder for a bit. But then she felt bad and smiled sheepishly at him, telling him that she and Perry were heading for the hot springs for a bit. They all needed a break from this Dark Ace thing. She needed a break from these random urges to growl at those maids to back off.

They had just been rabid fangirls… they had no right to look at Aerrow now…

Then Piper would feel guilty again.

"Perry, what do you think of Aerrow?" Piper asked her tentatively.

"He's too perfect, too good and too heroic to be true." Perry summed up, "why do you ask?"

Piper shook her head, smiling. "Nothing."

Some of what Perry had said was true. But some of it wasn't. Sometimes Aerrow could be as immature as a baby, as immature as Finn even. The episode with Craver had proven that Aerrow could get jealous and insecure. Sometimes Aerrow needed the rest of the team to save him from fangirls… he wasn't all perfect or all good or all heroic. He was just Aerrow. Good, old idiotic, yet good Aerrow.

"I was just being insecure," Piper laughed it off.

Aerrow wouldn't ever leave them for a random girl. No, she'd have to special for him to do that. Aerrow would always be true to the Stormhawks, his family and friends, his people because that's who Aerrow was. He could have as many fangirls as he wanted, but Piper knew he'd never leave them behind.

* * *

"Well I'm off to get massaged!" Finn sang, dancing as he did so. "Radarr, you're coming too! I'll show you what the Finnster can do!"

The boys were staying in a large and expensive suite, courtesy of Perry. The girls were in the room next to them. These rooms were first-class and had a lovely view of the Terra with its rolling scenery. Below, Aerrow could feel the mist of the hot springs.

The chimes, hanging from the windows, sang out softly in the wind.

Reluctant, Radarr rolled his eyes and followed.

"I guess I'll go check out their sushi buffet then!" Junko said excitedly, following Finn and Radarr out the door.

Stork merely shrugged and sat down on the floor, content to just lie around for now. Even Aerrow felt tired from the day's crazy events and proceeded to lie down as well. He found the yukata quite comfortable and easy to move around in. Maybe he'd buy one later for a souvenir.

Terra Fuji wasn't so bad a Terra after all, despite the Aphro crystals… the rabid fangirls… the evil trauma…

"Aerrow…" Stork sounded uncomfortable.

Rolling over to face Stork, who was now standing next to a portable chalk board (where had Stork found on in the first place?!) in front of him, Aerrow's eyes widened.

"Uh, what's going on?"

Stiff, Stork cleared his throat. Then he let out a deep breath. "As the oldest member of the team," he recited, as if from memory, as fast as he could, "it is my sole responsibility to educate you in the ways of the birds and the bees for the time may come for you and Piper to uh… engage in affairs of… mutual understanding. I must prepare you to have the knowledge of using uh… protection and… uh… always making sure to have the opposite gender's consent before proceeding to 3rd base!"

All the colour drained from Aerrow's face. "… what?"

The chalkboard flipped over, and Stork pulled out a meter stick, pointing it to the diagrams on the board. He had the look of the devil. "Aerrow…" he said slowly and ominously, "welcome to sex-ed."

Two seconds past before Aerrow let out a huge scream, and then ran out of the room as fast as he could.

"WAIT! I HAVE TO TEACH YOU ABOUT CONDOMS!" Stork yelled. "WHAT IF YOU'RE NOT SAFE WHEN YOU'RE DOING IT?!"

It was no wonder that all the maids stared at Stork bewildered, as if he had grown two heads.

* * *

Piper and Perry were in the change rooms, preparing for their dip in the hot springs. Piper covered herself with a towel before proceeding to change…

Aerrow burst through their door, hollering at the top of his lungs.

They froze.

Suddenly Aerrow realized where he was.

Blink. Blink. They blinked some more.

Then Piper screamed, "PERVERT!"

And threw a towel at his face. Aerrow went rigid, "Wait Piper, it was an accident, I swear I-"

She shut the door in his face.

"… Piper?" Perry murmured.

"… yeah?" Piper shivered.

"You are aware that you never took your clothes off right?" Perry pointed out the obvious. She liked poking at the obvious romantic tension between Aerrow and Piper.

"… oh."

Pause.

Instantly Piper scrambled to her feet and rushed out the door, "AERROW I'M SO SORRY!"

Ah, that never failed to stop being cute, Perry chuckled to herself.

* * *

"I can't believe this…" Starling muttered, looking at Cyclonis who was still on the merry-go-round. "This is ridiculous… how am I supposed to attack her when she's being… girly?!"

A huge crash sounded in the distance. Starling got to her feet, num-chucks ready when…

A giant three-headed dog rushed past her, chasing some kind of furry rodent. Ravess came chasing after it.

Ravess caught Starling's eye in mid-run and scowled, "You!"

"Nice to see you too," Starling replied drily.

* * *

"You'll see, Radarr. I can get any girl!" Finn walked into the massage room. What greeted him was a row of lovely ladies, of all different types. He was in heaven. "Hello…"

One of the girls looked up at him and scoffed, "He's no Aerrow, girls. But we have to give him the damned massage."

The girls all sighed sorrowfully.

Radarr chuckled at the stab to Finn's pride. Finn merely frowned, "I'll show you!"

Sure he would…

Of course, Radarr didn't notice the leering eyes of a certain bird with an obsession for him…

* * *

"I'll take 64 pieces of tuna sushi, 84 pieces of veggie sushi, 76 pieces of puffer fish sushi, 16 pieces of sashimi, 21 pieces of salmon sushi, 89 California rolls, 57 pieces of cucumber sushi, 88 pieces of crab sushi, 98 pieces of shrimp sushi, uh, 69 pieces of sea urchin sushi and 47 pieces of your classic sushi," Junko finished his list, "Hm… is that all…?"

The trembling waiter, who had to write down a very long order, hoped so.

"Move over whelp! I want to order now!"

Junko's eyes widened, "Snipe?"

* * *

Aerrow decided that after that he needed to take a good relaxing soak in the hot spring. Dressed only in a towel, Aerrow headed out, whistling as he got into the hot spring… the nice warm hot spring. It felt good to just lie down and worry about nothing.

Finn was right. There had been too much work today. Aerrow closed his eyes, humming to himself, and also hoping that Stork wouldn't find him here.

"Nice day…" Aerrow sighed wistfully.

"… Sure is…" answered a voice.

Leaning his head against the rim of the large outdoor spring, Aerrow smiled. "Terra Fuji is a great place huh?"

"… yup."

Slowly Aerrow opened his eyes just a bit. "Are you writing something?"

He couldn't quite see his companion in the mist.

"Yup. Poem. About dead people and zombies. I've also got a line of love poetry too," came the casual answer.

"Huh… cool…" Aerrow nodded, sleepy.

That voice… sounded familiar… Deep… Dark… Really foreboding…

Wait…

Aerrow got up instantly, "The Dark Ace?!"

Several splashes answered him as the Dark Ace got up as well, also clad in a towel, "AERROW?!"

And if things couldn't get even more cliché, the lights went out.

-

-

-

I updated… after 6 months! Yay! Don't kill me; I had a lot of Biology and Chemistry to study for. I'm really sorry for being extremely late. I made up for it with the length of the chapter, hopefully.

Yeah, so there was a lot of fan service in this chapter. Stork being shirtless… Aerrow and the Dark Ace in a towel… It only verifies my blatant insanity. If I haven't scared off half my readers yet, I will promise that the next update of this story will be up before the end of June! July at the latest!

By the way, Crys is an OC. I guess I own her. She's a minor character, don't worry. Just there to serve as the random-person-who-owns-the-inn kind of character if you know what I mean :)

Next time: Dark Ace vs. Aerrow in a battle of sky knights who don't actually have their weapons… Junko vs. Snipe in a… drinking contest?! (don't abuse alcohol at home guys ^^), Finn vs. Samurai 101/Commander Chickenfeather/what's-his-name with only a window cleaner standing between victory and defeat, Stork vs. return of the rabid fangirls, Piper vs. the actual villain of this story (there's an actual villain?!), Perry vs. the closet (seriously), Ravess vs. Starling in a world of cosplay and finally Radarr vs. Stalker chicken!

Man, that's a long preview.

I apologize for severe oocness! Thank you for reading! Please point out any grammar/spelling errors :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the Stormhawks. If I did, Aerrow and Piper's relationship would have progressed more and Finn would rule the world. No, really. He would. Stork would also be his appointed right-hand man, the torturer and finder of secrets… person… (the title slipped my mind…) and Junko would find a cute girlfriend ^^

**Recap:** Invited into Crys' inn on Terra Fuji, the Stormhawks take a break from their quest to find the Dark Ace—even running into Perry. However Aerrow encounters the Dark Ace, Finn goes to get a massage and Snipe spots Junko at the sushi buffet. In the mean time, at Terra Neon, Starling faces off against Ravess. Now that the stage is set, the battles and long awaited confrontations begin.

Ink: This chapter is less comedic and more plot-developing mixed with action

Aerrow: [eyes widen]… there's a _plot?_

Ink: [groans and goes back to typing AxP oneshots]

**Whatever Happened to the Dark Ace?**

When the lights had gone out in the inn, Finn had just taken off his shirt in preparation for his anticipated massage.

It was as if someone had pulled off a switch and proclaimed that 'thou shall be blind' for all of the girls in the massage area began screaming as soon as darkness came to embrace them. Finn's jaw dropped as he tried to calm them down, despite the fact that he had no idea where to go in the dark.

"Ladies, ladies! Relax; it's just a black-out! Nothing bad is going to happen, I promise!" Finn raised his hands, trying to feel his way on the wall to a nearby lady in distress in the hopes of 'comforting' her or, more importantly, earning some points as a 'gentleman'.

Instead Finn's hand had landed on something kind of soft… and squishy. A girl gasped and, despite being burdened with no sight at the moment, slapped Finn square on the face with perfect accuracy.

"OW!" Finn moaned, nursing his left cheek. "Did you practice slapping guys in the face or something?! That hurt!"

"That's what you get… pervert!"

"What are you talking about, I was just—" Finn paused and thought over what he had just done. Then it made sense. "Oh… _oh…_" His eyes widened as a lecherous grin latched its way onto his face. "Wow so that's that they feel like… I mean…" Finn changed his tone. "I'm so sorry, milady! I should've been more careful not to intrude on your bootilicious body."

Another slap found its way straight on Finn's face and he fell backwards once again. "You've got… good aim… just like… me…" Finn slipped into unconsciousness.

Satisfied the random girl huffed away from him. "Bootilicious…?! Who says that anymore…?! Jerk…!"

Radarr, who had stood still the entire time, being calm, knowing that common sense dictated that one merely stay put during a black-out, shook his head. Sometimes Finn bordered on the thin line between imbecilic and moronic. No one had bothered to ask Radarr to investigate things for them. If anyone in the room had had brains, they would have figured out that Radarr could see perfectly fine in the dark, having eyes that weren't as limited as human ones.

Oh well, it was their loss. Radarr didn't feel like scrounging around for flashlights or candles to help some rabid Aerrow-fan girls anyways. Leaning against the wall casually, Radarr settled for playing around with a fallen bottle cap before the ends of his fur began to rise on edge. Alert, Radarr turned his rigid pose into a fighting one.

Someone was watching him. Something, with huge bulging round glowing eyes which seemed to be filled with inexplicable lust. Oh no… Radarr had seen those eyes before. It couldn't be! Surely these eyes wouldn't turn up here… would they?

"Cluck… cluck…" The soft familiar clucking snapped Radarr out of his transfixed gaze.

The stalker chicken was here.

Radarr made a run for the medicine cabinet, a plump chicken hot on his trail with intense heart-filled eyes.

* * *

"Whoa, who turned out the lights?!" Snipe cried out as soon as all went inexplicably dark. "I want my mommy!"

Junko didn't know whether to be slightly sympathetic to Snipe's plight or extremely amused that one of the Cyclonian Commanders had such a childish fear of the dark. He settled for stifling his laughter nonchalantly by covering his mouth with his fists.

"Everyone, calm down!" Crys said, for she had been cooking in the cafeteria kitchen, her voice sounded far off in this isolated darkness. "It's just a black-out. I'll try to find a communications crystal and get someone to check out the inn's control room to fix the lights. It should take 15 or 20 minutes at the most."

"WHAT?! THAT'S TOO LONG!" Snipe exploded, smashing something loudly. "I CAN'T BE LEFT IN THE DARK FOR _THAT_ LONG!"

The sudden outburst nerved the innkeeper as she weakly tried to talk over Snipe's complaints. "Please settle down, sir. It's not that bad—"

"SHUT UP!" Snipe's voice was muffled; it sounded like he was starting to cry. "YOU DO SOMETHING NOW OR I'LL KILL YOU!"

"Now that's no way to talk to a nice girl like Crys!" Junko frowned, trying to be the voice of reason in this mess. "It's not her fault that the lights are out. Try to think reasonably here… if you're that frightened, I could let you borrow my Teddy Bear. I always carry him in my backpack outside of sky battles and stuff."

Everyone stared oddly at Junko, perplexed.

"Teddy bear…?" Snipe sounded tentatively hopeful.

"Uh… yeah, you can hold it?" Junko blinked, wondering if this was a good idea to calm the Cyclonian down.

Snipe charged towards Junko blindly, yanking the bear away. "Then what are you waiting for?! Give it here!"

Falling over, Junko fell against a table. "Hey!"

Dully, his head banged on the floor. The world was spinning as Junko woozily tried to lift his head back up again.

"Oh my, are you alright, Junko?!" Crys called out, running blindly towards him.

Junko hissed in a sudden spasm of hurt. "Uh… yeah… I think you're stepping on my foot!"

The wallop choked out in pain, smashing his fist down hard so viciously that his hand actually broke through the floor.

A large gaping hole formed, that much Crys could tell with her crippled vision… and judging from the sparking wires which twisted out of the newly formed hole that Junko had unintentionally made, the lights weren't going to come back on soon in this particular section of the inn.

On the other hand, Snipe was contently cuddling up with Junko's teddy bear.

"You…" Crys' hands trembled, for she didn't know whether to be angry or not, her foot pressed down further in bottled frustration at how much this was going to cost her for repairs.

"OW…" Junko moaned, the sound piercing her ears, mumbling something incoherent.

Crys blinked, momentarily trying to decipher what he said. Then she realized that she really _was_ stepping on his foot by accident. "Oh. Sorry."

* * *

"EEK! WHAT IN GOD'S NAME IS GOING ON?!" Stork shouted as soon as the lights went out.

Several of the servers in the hallway yelped, dropping their plates and bowls with shattering crashes. Some of the maids had run into each other in the chaos; flying laundry consisting of undergarments and yukatas flew into the air landing in disorder on the tatami mats. The janitor who had been listening to his music device while mopping up the floor, opened his eyes and gasped, knocking his bucket and mop aloft into Stork's direction.

The mop landed on Stork's head, clanging loudly against his thick skull, making Stork scream aloud in panic. "ALIENS! ALIENS HAVE COME AND THEY'RE SUCKING MY BRAINS OUT!"

"Aliens?!" A voice from the mess in the hall yelled in horror.

"SOMEONE SAVE ME, IT'S GETTING IN MY EYES! IT BURNS!" Stork wailed, not realizing that it was the _soap_ soaked in the mop that was making him itch.

"What did he say?!"

Stork was running into walls and doors, mop covering his head in a wet and stinky clutch, panicking and flaying his arms around, screaming 'Aliens'.

"Dear god, he said aliens! Every man for himself! RUN!" Another voice in the darkness proclaimed as people began to scramble to their feet, a true panic stirring, causing said people to do very unreasonable things.

Like running into each other again. Or maybe hiding behind curtains. Hitting other people in the head with fallen dishes. Using the discarded laundry as parachutes and jumping out the window (how they did that without being able to see, was a mystery).

"Get it off me! Get if off me! Get it—"

Stork slammed into a door and the mop fell off, clunking as it rolled to a stop.

Stork opened his mouth to yell out more obscenities again when he finally realized that it had been a mop that had assaulted him… NOT an alien.

Stepping back in disbelief and grateful relief, Stork slumped back against the door. "Oh. That's good…" He looked around at the dark hall which was now full of screaming people who were doing who-knows-what. "This _can__'__t_ be some coincidence…"

He didn't see the little opening in the door above. Nor did he see the suspicious shadow that was beyond the door, holding a green light which pulsed into the darkness…

The frantic maids began to stop… eyes downcast, as Stork saw the glowing Aphro Crystals on the maids' head bands…

Not good at all.

* * *

"What the-" Aerrow stumbled over, falling into the water as the darkness seemed to slap him face first, enveloping the water and all the air around them in a pitch black.

Spluttering as water filled his nostrils and cut off his air supply, Aerrow burst out of the surface gasping out in surprise, totally blind to his surroundings. Black painted every inch of the room, the large pool, and the walls. Aerrow couldn't even see his hand in front of him as he wiped off excess spit from his face, his green eyes narrowed defensively as Aerrow groped around for something to use as a weapon.

More splashing sounds to Aerrow's right startled the sky knight, who immediately raised his hands in preparation for attack. The Dark Ace let out a string of swearing words before Aerrow realized that his arch-nemesis had also followed suite after Aerrow and tripped into the water as well. Aerrow smirked. It seemed like the Dark Ace wasn't as graceful as he had always boasted.

Something grabbed Aerrow's ankle.

Aerrow yelped, "What are you doing?!"

With a harsh yank, Aerrow was plunged back into the warm pool, unable to resurface because of the grip on his leg. Bubbles raced from Aerrow's nose and mouth as he tried to yell out, only to have water enter his lungs once more. Immediately Aerrow pulled his trapped ankle back and pulled himself forward in the depths of the pool to pull the thing off. The thing… that was the Dark Ace's hand.

So the Dark Ace was going to drown him, huh? Two could play at that game! Aerrow smirked and wrenched the Dark Ace's hand off his ankle, bringing the Dark Ace closer and then punched the Dark Ace in the face, making the Dark Ace hurtle to the floor of the pool with a huge thunking sound. Aerrow's head broke through the surface, taking in more precious gasps of air.

It was still dark. And Aerrow couldn't see the Dark Ace in the pool. There was no way he'd be able to fight the Dark Ace at zero visibility… he needed a weapon… he needed some way to see again.

His fingers grazed over a cylindrical shape that felt like rubber…

Arms grasped at Aerrow's shoulder as Aerrow felt something slam against his skull. He cried out in outrage, holding on to the cylindrical shape… The Dark Ace continued to hit him with some sort of object…

"You won't get away now, Aerrow!" The Dark Ace bellowed in that annoying villainous voice of his.

"We'll see about that!" Aerrow raised the mystery object in his hands, pulling on the trigger in the direction that he had heard the Dark Ace's voice.

Water gushed out from the object, hard and fast. The Dark Ace fumbled back and fell into the water, choking.

Aerrow blinked. So… the mystery object was a _hose_?!

"I'll get you for that, Aerrow!" The Dark Ace scowled (not that Aerrow could even see the scowl in the dark) and grabbed a bucket, that had just so happened to be floating nearby in the pool at the time, and dunked a huge amount of water on Aerrow's head.

Somehow, they had started an epic water fight.

* * *

"What the hell are you doing on Terra Neon, Starling?" Ravess hissed at her.

The rampaging three-headed dog that was busy tearing up the rest of the carnival-based Terra for a squirrel was ignored by the two female warriors.

Standing stiffly with nun-chucks at hand, Starling motioned towards the direction of Master Cyclonis, who was still, unsuspectingly, riding the merry-go-round. "I could ask you the same question, Ravess. I came here on account of the rumours that have been flying around about your Master conquering Terra Neon for her own territory. I came here to stop you. Judging from the general lack of population, save for yourself and your Master, I suspect those rumours were correct after all."

Licking her magenta-painted lips, Ravess sneered at her purple-haired nemesis. "I guess I should be grateful then…" She grasped her bow, letting the familiar shape of the bow slip into her grip. "This gives me a chance to settle the score between you and me at Polaris Point!"

A rush of adrenaline flew into Starling's heart as she spun the nun-chucks around in ease. "It'll be my pleasure to beat you twice in a row, Ravess!"

"Bring it on, Starling!"

Of course, that was when Fluffy decided to run over toward Ravess and scoop her up in his jaws as chew toy.

Wow, that was a big dog, Starling observed mutely.

"ARGH!" Ravess yelled, stuck in between Fluffy's large teeth, "PUT ME DOWN YOU INSUFFERABLE MUTT! I'LL PERSONALLY NEUTER YOU WHEN I GET FREE FROM YOU!"

Starling stared uselessly, nun-chucks falling to the ground as she watched Fluffy carry Ravess away.

Well… now what?

* * *

She had just put on her robe when the power had gone out. Curiously, Piper looked up at the ceiling just as the spark of the light bulbs died down and dimmed in a final goodbye. Beside her, Perry shifted, having just put on her kimono, dropping her hair brush on the floor in surprise. Both girls were seated on the bench of the girls change room, adorned in Fuji-style robes.

The Black-out was most likely the work of crystal malfunction in the Inn's control room.

"Well… looks like we'll have to sneak over to the control room and fix the lights with a couple of crystals of mine," Piper said after a couple of minutes of silence.

With interest, Perry smiled. "At Terra Klockstoppia, we just use the old-fashioned hamster wheel. When there's a black-out back home we just whip the hamsters back into shape."

Piper wondered if that could be considered animal cruelty.

"Oh well, good thing I always carry this around," Piper groped around for her bag and pulled out a gleaming yellow Solaris Crystal.

Perry's eyes lit up with recognition. "I remember that one… It stores energy from the sun, right?"

"Yup. And more importantly, it illuminates at full capacity in a black-out like this one," Piper grinned. "Come on. Let's go find the control room before any trouble starts."

Light lit up the path before them, a comforting presence as they went through the backdoor of the change room which one of the maids had told them led to the Inn's control room. Piper's legs moved with ease as she wore silk pants, a shirt and a flowing cloak. Perry was more restricted in movement within the tighter folds of the wrapped kimono, tripping on the steps occasionally which winded down into a dark dingy underground.

The friendly atmosphere of the inn had faded as the two girls traveled deeper beneath the inn to the control room in a winding staircase which had rusted stairs and leaky stone walls. Bits of roots and soil stuck out from the ceiling the further they traveled, shadowing the light cast from the blazing Solaris crystal. It was cold and damp, very eerie for a supposedly innocent hotel on Terra Fuji. Couldn't they have afforded to renovate the underground staircases?

Suppressing a shiver, Perry stuck close behind Piper. "They sure made this place creepy. It's like a dungeon."

It should be noted that Perry had personally seen to it that all Terra Klockstoppia dungeons were redesigned to resemble exquisite bathroom suites with beds added inside because of her fear of damp, dingy places.

"Judging from the structure of these stairs and those railway tracks down below…," Piper peered over the edge of the stairs, "I'd said this is some kind of abandoned crystal mine. Maybe this is one of the original sources of the Aphro Crystals."

"…Yippee."

They neared the bottom of the stairs to Perry's relief with a huge metal door greeting them at the end. The problem was… the metal door was already ajar… and a lit. There was a green glow beyond the open door.

"Someone's inside?" Perry kept her voice to a bare whisper.

When Piper didn't answer, merely creeping closer to the door for a closer look and dousing her Solaris Crystal to a dim, Perry rolled her eyes and kept close after. Slipping into the glowing control room, the two girls slipped behind a rather large pile of scrap metal, eyes glued to the center of the room.

The room was extremely spacious for a control room, ceiling stretching out at least 12 feet up, walled with steel. There were metal stairways along the sides of the control room, leading to various shafts and switches, hooks and chains. Towards the front of the room was a large rectangular boiler, powered by various crystals of different colours, managed with the according switches and valves. Behind the boiler was a blocked off entrance of some sort, blocked by a small mountain of heavy boulders.

The boiler would've been fuming and toiling to power the inn's lighting system… had there not been someone else in front of the control panel. Someone who Piper found to look very familiar.

Narrowing her eyes, Piper strained to get a closer look, ignoring Perry's curious glances. That hair… blond and curled back, that face and beard… a sneer fixed in place, that outfit… worn yet still the same as when she last saw him.

"It couldn't be…," Piper murmured to herself, eyes widening, "Domowic?"

No way. It was him. That writer and archeologist who Piper had admired so much, only to find out that he was a conceited jerk on the inside who didn't mind working with Cyclonians in order to earn fame and glory—he was here in Terra Fuji—far away from his precious Forbidden City. The last time she had seen him was in a temple on the verge of collapse and ruin, about to die.

What was he doing here?! Was he responsible for the black-out? Did he have something to do with the Dark Ace or the Aphro Crystals?

Instinctively, Piper reached for her crystal staff… only to find it missing from her belt. It was then that Piper remembered that Crys had had all of the Stormhawks store their weapons away in large storage closet, assuring their safety. Piper's heart raced. She'd have to make due with a rusted crow bar from the pile of scrap metal which she was hiding behind.

Noticing that Perry was standing by her with a worried expression, Piper put a hand on her shoulder. There was no time for comforts or relaxation anymore. They had to move.

"Perry." Piper's voice was stern, automatically businesslike. "Go back up the stairs. I need my staff. Can you get it for me? Here, I'll let you take the Solaris Crystal." She handed it easily to Perry's frozen fingers, in thought. Then with consideration, Piper shook her head. "Actually, I think you should find all of our weapons and bring them back to each of us… I think we're going to be in trouble."

The princess' eyes widened, "Trouble?! What do you mean?! Don't you guys have any normal days off?!"

In spite of the growing plot that was unfolding as the day went by, Piper still managed a grin. "Well, sometimes. Anyways, you have to hurry, Perry. The maids locked all of our weapons in the closet upstairs when we first arrived. I'm pretty sure Aerrow and the others will need them, as much as I do."

"He's a bad guy, isn't he?" Perry muttered, looking over at Domowic before nodding to Piper. "You'll be ok, right?"

Piper lifted the long crow bar in the air, making it seem like an extended version of her arm. She grinned at Perry, "I'll make due. Now get going!"

"Right!"

Off the princess went, with haste for her mission.

Good, thought Piper, it'll just be me and him and this crow bar. Good times. Fun.

She stepped out from behind the pile of scrap metal, ready with her crow bar, facing Domowic's turned back.

At that moment, all of the lights in the inn, except in the kitchens and massage area, turned back on.

There was only one problem. All of the lights were now hued _green_, every maid was wearing a hair clip with smuggled Aphro Crystals embedded in the plastic—rendering each one complete in a trance and Domowic had his hand on the microphone, smirking as he bellowed out his first command to his zombie-induced army of fan girly maids.

"Attack the Stormhawks."

Hearing the command, Piper darted forward, bar held high to swoop in and intervene on Domowic's plan.

Too bad he whirled around in the last minute and caught her intended method of attack in mid-air before it could hit him.

Piper paled considerably.

"Well, I can't say it isn't nice seeing _your_ pretty face again," Domowic smirked at her.

* * *

"Uh, this is great and all… but is someone going to fix the lights now?" A random guest asked, still quite in the dark.

"D-don't worry!" Crys tried to reassure her customers, "it's a fact that your eyes will adjust to the darkness in about 20 minutes of exposure. I'm sure in another half hour or so, someone will have had to have gone into the control room to fix the problem!"

On the ground, Junko was still nursing his swollen foot with a very cute pout on his face. Tears were gathering at the ends of his eyes, threatening to spill over as Junko made a very startling discovery.

Well, for him, anyways.

"MY FOOT IS BLEEDING!" Junko cried out, feeling the liquid on his fingertips, "YOU CUT MY FOOT OPEN WITH YOUR HIGH HEELS—"

"SH! _Quiet!_" Crys was stumbling over to him instantly, her sight improving with the longer exposure to the darkness. "I wasn't even wearing heels! They're just sandals, how can they—stop moving so much—Oy, are you listening?!"

"—I'mbleedingI'mbleedingI'mbleeding—"

"—Dear lord, you're a wallop. Have some decency!" Crys pleaded, "you're startling my customers. Please, calm down. It's only a small little cut. It's not a serious wound at all, just a cut—"

"—I'mbleedingI'mbleedingI'mbleeding—"

Frantically Crys ripped off a part of her sleeve to wrap around Junko's minor wound, realizing that the wallop obviously had an odd fear of blood. After all, the Stormhawks had never actually suffered any serious injuries before, except the odd bruise here or there, or that time when Aerrow fell through the laundry chute and all of his bones were broken. It made _some _sense that Junko was petrified at the sight of his own blood… somewhat.

Ok, well, maybe it made _no _sense whatsoever, but for the sake of comic relief, Junko was extremely squeamish.

"Look, look," Crys motioned to the wallop, relief flooding into her actions. "The wound is secure now. It's going to be ok…" She adopted a soothing tone, as if she were talking to an oversized toddler. "Here… I'll even give you a lollipop!"

Sniffing with puppy eyes glued on his face, Junko mumbled, "Is it strawberry?"

"Er…" Crys couldn't tell the colour in the dark so she lied. "Yes it is."

"Yay! I love strawberry!"

Well… that was one sticky situation averted… now to deal with the lights and--

"THAT'S NO FAIR!" Snipe bellowed, "I WANT A LOLLIPOP TOO!"

Flabbergasted, Crys dug into her pockets and flung a bag of lollipops in Snipe's face. "Take it! Just, for god's sake, don't cry any—"

"THESE ARE ALL _STRAWBERRY_ FLAVOURED LOLLIPOPS!"

"… so?" The minor character was wondering how long she would have to cater between the needs of the blubbering Cyclonian and wallop.

Snipe's lips trembled, his fist squeezing the teddy bears head off. "I _HATE_ STRAWBERRY FLAVOURED LOLLIPOPS!"

Thus, the bag of lollipops was thrown back into Crys face, vaulting the petite girl into the sushi table, knocking the assortments of colourful sushi all over the floor.

Crys wondered if she should have become a firefighter instead of an innkeeper while she had had the chance. At least she wouldn't be barrelled into tables of sushi then.

"You hit a girl…," Junko glowered, his fear of blood miraculously gone at the moment as he towered before Snipe, truly angry. "You can't hit girls! A true warrior would never do that! And how dare you insult strawberry flavoured lollipops?!"

… Were the _lollipops_ even important in any way whatsoever in terms of the situation?

No, but apparently for Junko and Snipe, the lollipops held a great significance in matters of honour and all that warrior jazz.

"Yeah, so what? Hitting girls, hitting men, it makes no difference. I hate strawberry lollipops and there's nothing you can do about it!" Snipe sneered, and to be even more childish, stuck out his tongue in a mocking jeer.

Junko's frown deepened as he bellowed, "I challenge you to a drinking game! Winner keeps my teddy bear and proves that strawberry lollipops are the best! After that, you apologize for hitting Crys and knocking her into a table!"

Gaping, Crys wondered if she had hit her head too hard. A drinking contest? Over a teddy bear? For the sake of lollipops?! Had she heard it all right?! There was no way that the Cyclonian would ever agree to something so degrading if—

"You're on!"

They were both idiots, Crys decided.

* * *

"Hello…?" Stork gulped, fearing for his life.

The suspicious shadow that had been behind the door was long gone. Stork and the creepy zombie-like maids, that he was trapped in the hallway with, had been stuck in an eerie staring contest for the past 5 minutes.

It was simple, really. The maids, with their empty pupil less eyes, merely looked aimlessly at Stork in a synchronized drone while Stork huddled helplessly against the locked door, like a startled rabbit, with bloodshot eyes.

They were waiting for something. Stork could feel it. He knew that these zombie fan girl maids would soon come in for their ravenous attacks, could see the evil hunger flickering in their bottomless gazes. They were like lions, just staring down at the prey. Him.

This was why, save for Piper, Stork really disliked girls. They could get _very _scary when under mind control.

His heart beat quietly as Stork plotted a way out of this mess and safely back onto the Condor where he'd have the best advantage before the zombie fan girl maids received the order to attack him. The most important priority was getting to safety, _and then_ he could go save everyone else's butts and rush the hell out of this freaky Terra.

Good plan. Now tiptoe slowly, Stork, he told himself.

Alas, the lights clicked back on as soon as Stork took two baby steps past the first line of zombie maids. This would've been a good thing had the lights not been hued _green_. A speaker, that Stork hadn't realized was installed along the hallways, fuzzed on, making a loud screeching sound before a voice sounded through.

"Attack the Stormhawks."

Oh snap. Cue the _Jaws_ theme music, Stork could feel all of the zombie maids' heads turn simultaneously in synchronized motion towards him; mouths wide open with drool slipping out. A picturesque scene from your local horror motion picture.

They charged at him, a sea of pale thin fingers grasping at Stork's body, covering his vision once more. Stork cried out and jumped up to the ceiling, hand grasping up ceiling lantern, knees pulled towards his chest. He felt like a tree monkey.

"…Attack… the Stormhawks…"

Overlapping voices murmured as the hypnotized girls turned their gazes towards Stork's dangling form, clinging on the Fuji paper lantern.

Obviously stripping wouldn't save him this time. These girls weren't his fans. Plus, they were just ordered to kill him. In this case, someone else was pulling the strings. Stork had no time to wonder who.

"W-what are you doing…?" Stork gulped, pulling himself closer to the comfort of the ceiling. He watched as the zombie maids picked up the scattered pieces of china dishes, sharpening them on their kimonos. The china glistened at Stork dangerously, threatening to cut him to pieces.

"…Attack… Stormhawks…"

Stork yelped as a hand brushed against his ankle. Looking over his shoulder, he saw the girls now climbing on top of each other, actually using a smart tragedy to get to him. This particular zombie girl's face was snow white, with red blood lips. In her hands, a particularly sharp piece of china greeted Stork. She would've been a great poster girl for a Dracula movie.

"Oh damn…" Stork muttered as the girl came closer and closer.

"…Attack…"

"That's it… MOVE OUT OF MY WAY!" Stork yelled, jumped off the Fuji paper lantern that he had clung to so dearly, diving head first into the sea of mind controlled maids like a crazy rock star.

The maids were too slow to catch him as he rolled onto the floor, beneath their waists and grabbed as many abandoned pots and pans as he could, swiftly tying them to his body thanks to years of self-practice and drilling. When he emerged among them, he was plastered in a pots-and-pans armour similar to the one he had worn in the Black Gorge.

His eyes narrowed. "Bring it on, zombies."

A devious grin foreshadowed the ultimate destruction of the evil fan girls before him as Stork held up a dirty bra from the laundry that had been dropped on the floor earlier, stretching it out between his hands.

There was a loud scream as the bra ricocheted forward like a boomerang and hit three girls in the face, making them drop out cold on the floor.

Stork cackled, "Take that!"

Next, he threw under pants at a few girls to his left. The smell of the underwear had them walking into walls, conveniently knocking them out as well.

Someone yanked his hair and Stork spun around yelling blindly as he karate chopped a girl's nose with a frying pan in hand. Dove would've been proud of him, for the girl flew through a paper matted door and into a washing machine.

Frantically Stork dashed to the door on the other side of the hall way, the one that wasn't locked, thank you very much. He dodged the twisting hands that darted towards him anxiously and slid down the hall on the slippery floor. The janitor who had been mopping up the hallway was now shivering behind his bucket, staring incredulously at the army of mind controlled girls.

Three girls tried to jump Stork from his right and left as he slipped down the hall clumsily. Fumbling, Stork knocked one of the girls on the head with his frying pan hard as he had seen Piper do before with her staff and then smack another girl with a spatula, now appreciating the kitchen utensil artillery used on Terra Gale by Dove and Wren.

"WHOA!" Stork nearly fell over a trash can that got in his way as he skated on the wet floor tiles.

Garbage joined the laundry, the china, the pots and pans on the floor along with several unconscious maids.

With a groan, Stork made a move to get up. However, just then, Stork felt an old tingling sensation along his skin. It was sharp. Digging into his skin. Really painful. Stork wondered what it was, only to realize that a maid was _gnawing_ on his arm… with her teeth!

For the umpteenth time that day Stork let out a high pitched shriek and swatted the maid off with his arm, well, attempt too. The girl's jaws were dug rather deeply in his pale green skin, making blood come out. Her hand was raised, prepared to stab him with a piece of china, or at least try to claw his eyes out with her manicured nails.

"NO!" Stork growled. "GET OFF ME! GET OFF!"

Stork banged his arm away repeatedly, again and again but to no avail or cause for the maid decided to stab her equally sharp nails into his abused arm as well, holding on tight. Not even his most effective frying pan had any results in removing the girl from him. Or the spatula.

Oh man, thought Stork in a panic, what if she has rabies?! What if she's stuck to me _forever?!_ I can't have a delusional zombie female with her teeth stuck in my arm forever!

"THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING TO ME!" Stork wailed, his frying pan flying into the air as he threw his free arm up in helplessness.

The frying pan hit the glass plating which shielded the crystal lights… shattering them to pieces and rendering the green hue back to white once more. The stubborn zombie maid that had bitten Stork's arm then grew limp and fell back.

Blankly Stork stared at the shattered lights.

"…Oh." He blinked. "…Well I guess that worked much better than running around screaming like a lunatic then."

* * *

After running up the long winding staircase for several minutes, Perry was desperately out of breath, sweating from the physical strain.

She shook her head, "I've got to work out more…"

It didn't take long for Perry to find her way to their rooms, where the closet was. The Solaris crystal gleamed brightly in spite of the black-out and even without it, the lights had already been turned back in a weird green hue.

"Alright, now to get everyone's weapons out and run back to give them to Aerrow and the others," Perry said to herself. "This'll be an easy job. No problem at all."

She reached out and tried to open the door. With all of her might, Perry pulled at the closet door handle but to no avail. It would not budge open. Once more, Perry pulled again, yet still, the closet door was completely still, unaired in her efforts.

It was locked.

Somewhere up there, someone was laughing at her.

"This isn't good… I can't just go back and look for the keys either… That'll waste time," Perry mumbled as she scanned the room for things to use to open the damned door.

With guilty feelings, Perry looked in Aerrow's futon only to find a hairdryer and a bottle of hair gel as well as a bottle of conditioner. Perry blinked… was Aerrow supposed to have a hairdryer? Oh well, she could use this…

Perry threw the hairdryer at the closet door and it bounced back and hit her in the head.

"OW!" Perry was sporting a nasty bump on her forehead from where the hairdryer had bounced off of.

Her eyes narrowed at the closet door. She continued to search through the Stormhawks' things to look for more things to throw, ineffectively, it should be noted, at the closet door.

Finn's guitar… She threw it at the door and it snapped in half, strings making a strangled do-ray-mi before splitting and that also rebounded back to hit Perry in the head. Another glare was directed at the closet.

Stork's anti-mind worm helmet (why didn't he have an anti-Aphro crystal helmet?) was also chucked at the door… and as predicted, bounced back and hit Perry in the head.

Her bump was getting more swollen as this went on.

Perry glared at the closet door again. "You…" she glowered at it.

There was silence, just Perry and the closet door. Then, suddenly, Perry jumped up, suddenly possessed by the spirit of rampage as she picked up a broom that had been perched up against the wall the whole time and charged towards the closet, stabbing the point of the broom handle at the door hard in a fatal sweep.

The broom stood still against the door. Warily, Perry looked up to see if the door had been broken into yet.

There wasn't even a scratch on that door.

Angrily, Perry struck once more the closet door, swiping as furiously as a cat trying to catch a dangling ball of cat nip.

"…Stupid… Door… Won't… OPEN!" Perry yelled out loud before the broom gave off a deafening crack in the midst of all the closet beatings. "Uh… oh…"

The princess stared warily at the broom, seeing it crack into splinters and then fall back ward into two pieces.

That was it. Perry tightened her fists as she glowered at the annoying door.

This meant war.

* * *

If any of them had noticed the lights flicker back on in a green hue, the two hadn't shown any signs of surprise. They were more focused on trying to out-splash the other.

Cupping water in his hands, Aerrow sped down to the other side of the pool, waves of water rushing down towards the Dark Ace. Aerrow smirked; the Dark Ace wouldn't be able to see clearly for a while. He had to find his clothes and some thing to work with to defeat the Dark Ace. Then he'd have saved the day and they could all go home.

Oh wait…

The Dark Ace had managed to shield his face from the all the water and was now charging towards Aerrow. Aerrow moved forward, a punch prepared to hit the Dark Ace's jaw, but the Dark Ace—fast—had moved away from it while still keeping his legs moving forward. Before Aerrow knew it, the Dark Ace had grasped Aerrow's head in his hand and smashed Aerrow's face into the water, intending to drown the young sky knight for good.

Aerrow's hands waved around frantically between water and air, the hose dropped from his hands a long time ago and Aerrow gasped as air bubbled involuntarily burst from his mouth and nose. There was no way it would go down like this, Aerrow kept his eyes squinted open, welcoming the sting of the water and then he thrust his leg up in a 90 degree angle, kicking the Dark Ace squarely in the jaw and knocking the older man into one of the shower heads.

As the Dark Ace got up and looked at Aerrow, promising vengeance, Aerrow had already hopped out of the pool, trying not to slip on the floor, running to reach his pants.

The Dark Ace jumped up, trying to tackle Aerrow down and possibly make more yaoi-ish scenes. But thankfully, Aerrow grabbed a bar of soap and shoved it in the Dark Ace's mouth, causing the Dark Ace to choke and stumble, falling backwards into the pool with a large splash, saving the Dark Ace from being accused of a pedophile and Aerrow from a really awkward situation.

In a few seconds, Aerrow had put on his clothes, glancing at his reflection in the water with annoyance.

"Ugh… my hair's all wet…" Aerrow frowned, "now I have to hair-gel it again…"

"RAAAA!" The Dark Ace rose up, looking akin to a vampire as he reached up to strangle Aerrow.

"Uwah!"

Stepping back from the edge of the pool, Aerrow threw a bunch of towels from the wall at the Dark Ace, using them to throw the ex-sky knight into a line of benches. By the time the Dark Ace could look up, Aerrow had a toilet plunger (the nearest thing) at his throat.

Menacingly, Aerrow bellowed, "…Talk. What are you doing here on Terra Fuji? What does Cyclonis want so badly?"

Blood red eyes narrowed at him.

"You—"

The toilet plunger smashed against his face, suctioning the Dark Ace's breath away before Aerrow yanked the toilet plunger away, his stance the same as before.

"BLAH!" The Dark Ace spat out, trying to get rid of the terrible taste on his tongue. "Are you fricking insane?!"

"Don't give me any lip," Aerrow stared down hard at him, "just answer the question!"

In distaste, the Dark Ace merely glared impassively back at the boy. He would've looked very regal and dignified if he wasn't wearing rubber duck embroidered boxers under his white fluffy towel with extremely wet black locks messily sprawled across his face. Instead he looked like an oversized 12-year old trying to defy his mother's wishes.

Aerrow whipped the toilet plunger dangerously closer to the Dark Ace's neck. "Do you want your face to be stuck in here again?"

Warily the Dark Ace decided that, yes, some things were just not worth dying for. Being threatened by a toilet plunger of all things, made the Dark Ace realize that he really really hated his life sometimes, so he decided to concede… for now.

"… My master sent me here to locate the Aphro Crystal mine hidden here under this inn because the twit, Domowic, who she had sent earlier hasn't reported back for several weeks. That is all, really," the Dark Ace's eyes flickered towards Aerrow's in a casual voice.

He hoped this would get rid of the really embarrassing threat on his life: the toilet plunger.

As it was, his compliance had the opposite effect, for Aerrow had pressed the toilet plunger even closer to his neck in anger.

"…_Domowic?!_" Aerrow hissed out in a silent loathing that the Dark Ace had only even seen for himself from the boy. "What's he…? I thought he was dead! He's on Terra Fuji?!"

What are you stupid? The Dark Ace thought to himself.

"Obviously he is. I'm guessing the black-out is his doing. He's probably planning to rebel against Master Cyclonis by gathering a mind-controlled army against her," the Dark Ace answered as casually as he could under the pressure, "not that I care either way. She's a pain when she's PMSing… Domowic is probably in the control room. He escaped the Forbidden City not long before it collapsed and begged Cyclonis for a second chance… but I know he's secretly plotting to destroy her."

The Dark Ace paused in his explanations. Aerrow's hands were shaking and he had a very… angry look in his eyes.

"… I'm assuming that you really loathe Domowic," the Dark Ace observed. "Is it because he finds your navigator a bit attractive ever since their fight in the Forbidden City?"

"Well he… wait, he thinks Piper is hot?" Aerrow's homicidal urges just went up.

The Dark Ace rolled his eyes. "If you put it that way… yes."

"I'M GOING TO KILL HIM!"

"…huh?"

Before the Dark Ace knew it, he was tied to a pole by a hose, while Aerrow dashed away murderously to kill Domowic for hurting Piper in any way… and for thinking that Piper was attractive.

"…I knew I should've taken up poetry in high school," the Dark Ace muttered.

* * *

Sitting in the dark was very uncomfortable. It was quiet… too quiet. In the corner of the room, someone sneezed.

Finn was still out cold on the floor… not that it mattered at all to any of the Aerrow Massage Fan Girls. They were quite happy that the pervert had gotten what he deserved, even if it was their fault for hitting him unconscious in the first place.

It was all in the matter of waiting for the lights to go back on.

But then Radarr burst out of the medicine cabinet screaming for there were now a coop of chickens fluttering after him in freakish obsession. The little creature jumped up onto one of the massage tables, grabbing a towel to whip down at the violent poultry, while holding on to his dear tail.

There was no way that Radarr would ever let his chicken harem cut off some of his fur for a keepsake… ever.

He had his pride, after all.

"Hey, stop that!"

Some of the girls in the room were muttering amongst themselves, terrified by the group of feisty hens, having never dealt with chaotic animals before.

Radarr was desperate to get away from these fiends with their sharp beaks and claws. He threw a pair of scissors that were on a counter by the bed up in the air. The scissors cut into the ceiling tile like a dart…

… and then a Cyclonian fell down through the ceiling, landing on top of Radarr as well as the crazy chickens.

The girls screamed at this point.

"IT'S A PEEPER!"

"PERVERT!"

"HE'S GOT A WEAPON!"

"HE'LL KILL US!"

"SOMEONE, SAVE US!"

"AERROW, HONEY!"

These were just some of the incoherent wailings that emerged off the tops of their heads as they all clung to each other and scooted as far away as possible from the suspicious Cyclonian.

"W-wait!" Commander Chickenfeather cried out, hands stretched out in surrender, "I wasn't trying to do anything fishy, and I was just—"

"TAKE THIS!" The girl, who had slapped Finn silly, now dubbed 'Slapper' for the sake of simplicity, punched Commander Chickenfeather in the face.

Commander Chickenfeather saw stars for a few brief moments before regaining his footing… and his temper.

How dare they?

How dare they scream and point fingers at him? How dare they jeer? How dare they accuse him of exaggerated crimes? How dare they disrespect a Cyclonian Commander such as himself, one that was all powerful, close to gaining a position of trust and respect with Master Cyclonis?

He wasn't a coward, damn it. He wouldn't let a bunch of girls stop him. He was Commander Chickenfeather… no, his name from now on was Commander Samuraicutter!

(Somewhere out there, Master Cyclonis is making the newly suggested Cyclonian attendance list on Terra Neon and forever dubbing him as Commander Chickenfeather, instead of Samuraicutter, commenting that the name was idiotic.)

"SHUT UP!" Commander Samuraicutter (Chickenfeather) snapped at them all, grabbing his energy sword (borrowed… ok, stolen, from the Dark Ace) fuelled by a Firebolt Crystal.

It blasted a hole through the wall, bright and furiously burning the walls.

Commander Samuraicutter (Chickenfeather) smirked as the girls all whimpered under his display of power. "That's right… I am your Commander… your Master! If you defy me, I'll blast you all to kingdom come… understand?"

All of the girls nodded their heads meekly.

"Good," Commander Samuraicutter (Chickenfeather) leered at them, "then come give your new Master a well-earned relaxing massage!"

"…Ugh…" Finn stumbled, groggy from his head injury as he stood on his two feet. "Stop… right there…"

"You dare to challenge me?" Commander Samuraicutter (Chickenfeather) bellowed at the wobbly newcomer, who he hadn't noticed lying on the floor earlier.

"…I…" Finn mumbled, feeling like a drunken person, "I do…! I won't let you… insult… these ladies' honour by your… disrespect… I challenge you to a duel!"

Every girl's eyes lit up with new found respect for their saviour Finn.

"Oh?" Commander Samuraicutter (Chickenfeather) smirked, "Then what is your weapon of choice?"

"Er…" Finn groped around and lifted the first thing his fingers touched, "This squeegee will be my weapon of choice!"

All of the dramatics and new found respect that had been built up was suddenly thrown out the window as each girl stared dumbfounded at the _window cleaner_ that Finn had picked up.

Commander Samuraicutter (Chickenfeather) burst out laughing.

"That's your weapon?! You're going to lose!" He jeered.

"We'll see about that! You're messing with Sir Squeegee here!" Finn retorted.

Meanwhile Radarr lay forgotten in a pile of collapsed chickens.

* * *

"One… two… THREE!" Perry screamed and charged head-first into the wall, using a vacuum cleaner as a battering ram.

Instead she ended up hitting the closet door face first, and falling over on her bum, hurt.

"DAMN IT! WHY WON'T YOU OPEN!?" Perry yelled at the door, punching it several times before her nails broke.

The door just stood there… mocking her.

* * *

"Ok… so… uh… let's start the drinking contest… first person who falls over from… well… excessive alcohol consumption wins… Parents, please remind your children not to abuse alcohol at home…" Crys announced reluctantly.

Junko stared at Snipe.

Snipe stared back.

Between them both was a table lined with dozens of saké bottles, a cup on each end of the table, one for Junko where Crys stood by and one for Snipe, who held Mr. Teddy captive… still.

Junko knew that there were five things he couldn't ever tolerate in his lifetime. First, no one insults his friends… ever. Second, no one insulted Terra Wallop or his heritage in any way whatsoever. Third, no one could hit a girl in front of him. Forth, no one insulted strawberry flavoured lollipops. Forth, no one… and he meant no one….. could borrow his Teddy bear and then hold it captive.

Snipe had crossed all five lines somewhere along the line in his lifetime… now he could face the righteous wrath of Junko.

Crys' voice rang out, the signal they were waiting for.

"Begin."

* * *

Finally, Stork was out of the inn and racing towards his precious Condor, once and for all. He was so close to salvation, his love and the joy of his life, that he could almost hear the Condor calling for him as much as he called for it.

A large mass of flesh blocked his path.

A sumo.

He towered over Stork, at least 9 feet tall, which was abnormally big for a sumo. His chin jiggled as he breathed on Stork, bellowing, "Domowic told me not to let you pass!"

For a minute, Stork's heart nearly did a triple-flip.

Stork groaned, "Not another obstacle to get through!"

* * *

"Ok… please, open?"

Nothing happened.

"… open sesame!"

…

"Alakazam!"

Perry simmered as she glared holes at the closet. Her hand was still placed firmly against the door as she trembled with frustration.

"…I give up… I can't open this door… WHY?!" Perry moaned before she slipped and fell to the side.

Amazingly, the door slid open.

Perry gaped.

This door didn't just click open from front to back… It was a _sliding_ door that slid open from _right to left!_

She was too happy to see the closet open to curse her moment of stupidity, grabbing all of the weapons in her hands with joy before—

The closet door shut, locked from the outside before Perry could get out.

Now she was locked _inside_ the closet.

The princess screamed and pulled at her hair in a fit.

* * *

Piper was not pleased. Domowic was leering way too close to her face for comfort and staring at her in a way that positively creeped her out. His hands were around her waist, gracing closer to her bottom…

Her hands were tied behind her back, chained to the wall. Piper merely stood quietly and glared at Domowic, hoping to scare him off. However it only seemed to amuse him and encourage his disgusting actions.

"… You know, I never realized how beautiful you were, Piper," Domowic accented the syllables of her name with a leering gaze at her face. "I'm _sorry_ for being so despicable to you back in the Forbidden City… but it made me realize how much of a prize you are… We have a lot in common you know…"

She raised an eyebrow, "You mean, being obnoxious and pig-headed? No, I don't think we have that much in common."

Domowic only laughed in that annoying way of his once more. "See? Your charming sense of humour has pulled me in again… You amuse me, Piper. We could do great things together. You're just as intelligent as I am, just as… curious."

"Get to the point already," Piper hissed, chains holding her back from knocking him out on the ground.

"I want you to be my consort when I rule of the Atmos, my lady," Domowic said at last. "Together, with this mine of Aphro Crystals… we could grow to be the powerful couple in the universe!"

Was he serious?

Glancing up at his crazy eyes, Piper realized he was. This was not good.

"Sorry, I'm not interested," Piper snapped at him.

"You don't have to be, you're going to be with me whether you like it or not," Domowic leaned in closer to her, holding her chin up to kiss her.

Oh… hell no, he wasn't!

In a loud cry, Piper kicked her legs up and sent Domowic flying across the room in a crash.

"Don't you touch me!"

-

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Sorry I'm a bit late. My summer was unexpectedly busy. I had a lot to do. But what counts is that this chapter was long and that I did update. My next update may be released by September/October as school is starting soon, I'll also be quite busy. Only 2 – 3 more chapters left :D

Note on Domowic: When I first started this story, only 34 episodes of Stormhawks was released so I didn't know that Domowic would come back much later in the show. I suppose his appearance in this fic can be considered non-canon, so I apologize for that.

Next time: The battles, drama and comedy escalate!

Thank you for reading and waiting patiently for the updates! Also, thanks for all your lovely reviews, I love them. Please comment on any grammar/spelling errors you see in this story, thank you once again :D


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